My Past, My Present
by Shinku Tori
Summary: Leaving her was the last thing Hirako Shinji wanted to do, but he did so in order to become stronger. He is her past that she cannot forget. However, Sachi Kotori cannot live in the past. Her past may have defined her, but it will be the present that changes her. ShinjixOCxAizen
1. Girl Meets Boy

**My Past, My Present**

A Fanfiction based off of Bleach

**Chapter 1: Girl Meets Boy**

_"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." __-Buddha_

* * *

"Kotori, sweetheart, go outside and play with the children."

Her daughter surreptitiously glanced past the window and watched five boys, all around her age, spar with wooden sticks. Three of the boys laughed as one of their friends struck the stick underneath the armpit of the other. Smiling in victory, the blond-haired one raised his wooden sword in the air with confidence while the other four boys demanded a rematch. Upon hearing the blond one laugh, Kotori took a closer look. He gave a goofy grin to his friends, which seem to be his signature feature, and continued to spar with them.

"It's okay, mom. I rather stay with you," she spoke softly, turning her attention back to her food.

"Are you sure? They look like they're having so much fun!"

"That doesn't look like much fun. They're just playing with sticks."

"Imagination, sweetheart," her mother said, kindly. "To them, they're not holding sticks. They're wielding swords!"

"Those are pretty dull swords then," said her daughter.

"That stubborness of yours will get to you one day, Kotori. Sooner or later you'll have to go outside," her mother said with a sigh. "They look like a bunch of nice kids. Are you sure you don't want to play with them?"

"I'm sure. I'll just finish my food and-"

"Oh, look! They're coming this way," she said with a smile, waving at them. "Hello boys! Would you mind if my daughter plays with you guys?"

"No, ma'am," they all replied in unison.

"Kotori, do you hear that? Now go out and play!"

Her daughter pouted her face like a puffer fish. She did not want to go outside.

"Hi there!" The blond-haired boy from earlier grinned from the window when he greeted Kotori. He then looked at her with a befuddled expression. "...Why is your face like that?"

Embarrassed, Kotori quickly grabbed the dishes out of her mother's hand and left her alone with the boy in front of the window.

"I'm sorry my daughter's like that. She truly is a stubborn one."

"How's she stubborn?"

"She doesn't like going outside. Whenever I tell her to, she just makes that face," confessed the dark-haired woman. "She rather stay by my side."

"That's a kind daughter of yours."

"I'm glad to have her as my daughter but sometimes she needs to get out for some fresh air."

"Don't you worry!" He said with energy. "I'll just come back tomorrow!"

He left as quickly as he came and that is without a name. The most eminent feature of the boy was surprisingly not his grin or hair, but it was his eyes. His light brown orbs had an undefinable sparkle to them with a touch of mischief. However, Kotori didn't notice because she was too preoccupied with avoiding the boy.

Her mother walked into her room later that day and asked why she didn't want to play, but her daughter's response was that she didn't want to want to go outside. The dark-haired woman kissed her daughter's forehead and covered her with a blanket.

"You don't have to sacrifice your time for me, Kotori," she whispered, shutting the door behind her. "Don't let me be the reason."

"...I don't want you to leave me, mom," her daughter responded after the door closed.

The next day arrived without a cloud in the sky. Birds sang their songs and followed a gentle breeze that came their way. Kotori woke up that morning fresh and energized. She quickly dressed, tied her silk raven hair in a pony tail, and headed towards the kitchen to greet her mother.

"Morning, mom. Anything you want me to do today?"

"That boy came earlier today asking if you wanted to play," she informed, ignoring Kotori's question. "He said he and his friends will be by the river. I want you to go."

"But I don't even know them."

"This is a perfect opportunity for you to make friends!"

"I don't...I don't need friends!"

"Sweetheart, you don't always have to be by my side. I may be sick, but I don't want to be the reason you won't leave this house. Go out and make friends! Now go, I can take care of things here," she comforted, pushing her daughter past the door. "I'll be fine."

"But-"

"No buts. Now leave before I decide to sweep you away with my broom!"

Her mother waved off her daughter off. Kotori slightly smiled and walked towards the river.

The river was not far from her district; it was a mere five minutes at most. Narcissus and many other plant life bloom there in the spring, but the most beautiful detail of the river was the water. The crystal clear water sparkled even in the darkest of night and provided life for all the creatures. Kotori walked as quickly as she could to the river; she didn't believe much was going to come out from this experience other than child's play with sticks. A thought occurred to her. What if she were to defeat the strongest one from the group? Oh what fools she would make of them. She laughed to herself. As she neared the river bank, she realized no one was here. No one except the blonde haired one.

"Oh, you're still here?"

"How nice of you to finally come!" he greeted enthusiastically. "My name's Shinji, Hirako Shinji! Sorry 'bout the rest of the guys! They got impatient and left. You sure took your sweet time getting here."

"Then why are you here?" She asked out of curiosity. "You could have left."

"Didn't wanna miss an opportunity to talk to my first love!"

She rolled her eyes at his comment. _'What a flirt.'_

"You know, its common courtesy to give your name after someone has given theirs."

"Kotori, Sachi Kotori. It's nice to meet you Hirako-san."

"Hirako-san? You're making me feel old, Kotori-chan" he mused. "Just call me Shinji."

"Then just call me Kotori-san."

"Why are you making things difficult, Kotori-chan?"

"I could be asking you the same question, Hirako-san."

"Shinji."

"Hirako-san."

"Jeez, you're much more stubborn than I thought you are," mumbled the blond-haired boy. "No wonder your mom wanted you outside."

"What did you say?!"

"Nothing!"

"Che, I should've stayed home," she said. "You're a pain."

Shinji's eyebrow twitched at her claim. He was the pain? What does that make her then? Death?

"Then why did you come here?"

"It's not like I had a choice to be here or not," Kotori said, kicking a rock on the floor. "I was forced here to play or whatever that is you guys do."

"You're not making this conversation any pleasant," he replied with a sigh. "How about this? Do you like to spar?"

"I see nothing fun about it."

"Spoilsport."

"Why do you like sparing then, Hirako-san?" she curiously asked. "I mean, I saw you yesterday sparing with your friends. What's so great about waving some sticks around?"

"Ever heard of Shinigamis, Kotori-chan?" he questioned, waiting for her response. When she shook her head no, he continued. "They're our protectors; they protect both this world and the land of the living. Without them there would be no balance in this world. The good and the bad would mix and remain in limbo...painfully waiting to move forward but don't. You and I would still be there if it weren't for them."

"Shinigamis, huh?" mused Kotori. "Sounds easy enough to wave some swords around and save people."

"You think becoming a Shingami is easy?" he laughed at her naïvety. "Pick up a stick and let's see if you can beat me."

"Beat you? I bet I can beat you in two minutes."

"No need to be in a rush. Sparring is much harder than you think, Kotori-_chan_."

Without any further comments, she swung the stick as fast as she could at Shinji. For a moment she thought she hit him, but he deflected her attack and countered. Kotori found herself on the floor with a stick pointing at her face.

"You lost, Kotori-chan. Told you this wasn't easy," he grinned, offering her a hand up. "You can't just go into battle waving a sword around hoping you'll get the guy within an allotted time. It's about observing your opponent and patiently waiting until the right moment."

"I can beat you," said Kotori, slapping his hand away.

"Stop being so stubborn and naïve," demanded Shinji. "If you insist on things always going your way then stay in that room of yours. Understand there's a lot going on. People are dying; people need protecting. Unlike you, I have things I want to protect and I know I have to get stronger in order for that to happen."

"How about you stop acting like you know everything!" she spoke in a harsh tone, picking herself up from the ground. "I may not be as strong or as smart as you, but I too have things I want to protect!"

"How are you going to protect your mom, huh? By being stubborn? That's not going to cut out. Take my advice and open up to things. Maybe you'll learn something."

"I don't need your help with anything!"

"Accept things for how they are now, or change it."

She glare at Shinji with her hazel eyes. Deep inside she knew he was right. Kotori needed a slap into reality; she needed to understand that she can't do anything at her current state. She was weak and that irritated her.

"...What do you suggest I do first?" she asked after much thought.

"First, admit that I beat you."

She felt her eye twitch, but did so nonetheless.

"Fine, you win..._this round_."

"Guess that's a start," he sighed, looking at the girl in front of him. "How about I teach you a few things? One, you're not even holding the stick correctly."

"I accept on one condition."

He looked skeptical, but nodded.

"Tell me more about Shinigamis."

He smiled and agreed. The two spent the rest of the day sparing and talking about Shinigamis. After taking notice the sun had fallen, Kotori lost track of time and rushed back to her home without telling Shinji. Upon opening the front door, her mother greeted her with kindness.

"Hello, Kotori. How was your day?"

"It...it was interesting," she spoke after eyeing her mother's actions.

"You can tell me all about it when we eat. Now go wash up."

Kotori went into the wash room as she was told. However, before she went in, she caught her mother clean up spilled blood: her blood. During dinner, Kotori caught herself from speaking. She often asked about her mother's health but her questions were ignored. That night, Kotori wished for one thing. She wished for her mother to never leave her side.

* * *

"Wake up, Kotori-_chan_."

She kicked the person hovering over her, but her attack was effortlessly caught. Shinji shook his head in disappointment.

"You know better than that," he grinned.

"What are you doing on my bed? Get out!"

Kotori heard her mother chuckle from her door frame.

"Oh my, I would have never expected this reaction from you or else I wouldn't have let him in," confessed the dark-haired woman. "He stopped by this morning asking for you. I thought you were awake."

"I'm awake now...thanks to him," she said dryly. "What are you even doing here?"

"You left without saying goodbye. Don't you think that's a little cold even to your standards?" he joked, getting off her of bed.

"What do you mean _my_ standards? I don't have any standards!"

"Ya don't have to yell. I'm standing right here," said Shinji. "Now hurry up. We have some training to do!"

He thanked her mother for allowing him to come inside and pushed Kotori out of the house. The two returned to the river bank with hopes of becoming stronger.

Months passed and Kotori never would have the day at the river would change her for the better; she learned more about Shinigamis, fighting, and the world outside of Rukongai. She no longer stayed in her room as often as she did and was more aware of her surroundings. Her mother was happier as well. She felt delighted that her daughter went outside to enjoy the world. Her sickness continued to spread and it proved more difficult to breathe, but didn't allow it to show. If Kotori found out, she would instantly leave her new-found experience to help her mother. She was proud of Kotori; she was maturing. No longer did she shy away from obstacles or people. She still, however, doesn't trust easily. To Kotori, trust meant depending on others and with the more trust, the more people she had to depend on. She doesn't like depending on others so her mother and Shinji were the only ones she trusted.

Shinji, however, was still a mystery.

At first Kotori just thought of him as a flirt. He would constantly talk about girls he saw at the market.

"Ya should have seen her, Kotori-chan!" he exclaimed loudly as they ate lunch. "When our eyes met, I saw her blush and quickly turned her head away. Ah, she was so cute!"

Kotori really never cared about his encounters because each day it was a different girl. He never went into full detail about the girls except for their appearances: hair color, eyes, and complexion. He called every girl he thought was pretty as his 'first love' to which made her laugh because he called her that when they first met.

"Why are you such a flirt?" asked Kotori, taking a bite of her watermelon.

"What are ya talking about? I'm no flirt!" he said, smacking her on her head. That earned a glare from her. "I'm just enjoying life."

"Enjoying life a little too much there."

"What did you just say?!"

"You heard me!"

"How come you never talk to me about any guys, Kotori?" questioned Shinji. "The only person I hear you talk about is your mom. Is there ever going to be a guy in your life?"

"I can't concern myself with a guy...or anyone else for that matter. Not when my mother's in a sickly state."

"How is she?"

"Terrible," she responded, looking down at her half eaten fruit. "She tries to hide it from me, but I know. I can see the blood on her clothes."

"Do you know what's wrong with her?"

"No, she refuses to tell me. It's as if she's scared to tell me."

"Lighten up. If she's scared to tell you then you will just have to wait. As her daughter, let her know you'll be waiting and that you'll be by her side."

"You're right," said Kotori. "Thank you, Shinji."

Though he has talked about himself, he never went further into the topic and neither did Kotori. The two knew each other enough to want to protect the other. They talked more about Shinigamis, the Gotei 13, Shinji's love interests, and the health of Kotori's mother. Her sickness wasn't like any sickness she had ever seen; it wasn't the cold or the flu. She remembered the sickness began when she was younger. She walked into the kitchen one day and saw blood spewing out of her mother's eyes. Horrified, she ran to the nearest doctor to retrieve help but they refused because she didn't have any money to offer. She hurried back to her mother. When she returned her mother was up and cleaning the blood out of her eyes.

"I...I can't take it anymore, Shinji," she cried on his shoulder. "She told me not to worry but I still do. Every once in a while, blood will gush out of her eyes. I don't even know what's wrong with her. She refuses to tell me!"

Shinji listened to the story often and often witness Kotori cry. He found himself unable to do anything except watch. Watching, however, is not what he wants to do.

After one starless night, he packed his belongings and left. It was time for him to change things.

* * *

Decades passed without a word from Shinji. He never visited, never wrote, never came back to Rukongai as if he never existed. The first few months were extremely painful for Kotori. She searched far and wide for him, but he was never to be found.

_'Maybe he's out in the market.'_

Kotori always gave copious excuses as to why he left. She soon stopped searching and sparing with the children outside because they reminded her of Shinji. Her mother grew weary of her daughter's condition even though hers was worsening. She now need help getting around the tiny living area as well as eating. With each step grew more pain but that didn't stop her from worrying about her daughter. She still smiles and talk about items she found in the market but never about sparring. Her mother would occasionally mention the Shinigami Academy only to have her comment ignored. She wanted her daughter to be happy. She wanted her to genuinely smile. She wanted her to live.

Time was running out and she knew, and when the day came, it was too late.

Kotori cried as she approached her mother's bed.

"Mom, why...why did you always keep me in the dark? Why did you never tell me anything about this...about your sickness?" she sobbed. "I don't understand why you..."

"It's okay, sweetheart. I never wanted any of this to affect you, but it has and I greatly regret this...I wanted to watch you grow, watch you marry someone you love, watch as your smile develop like a flower during the spring but I guess I won't be able to, " She laughed to herself. "I wanted you to be happy and to not worry about me. Kotori, I want you to live a happy life."

"Not without you..."

Her mother slowly shook her head no.

"Times like these, you have to learn to move forward and push the past away. It's not healthy to live in the past. I may not be by your side anymore but I will forever be in your heart."

"No-"

"Sweetheart, join the academy," she softly spoke, wiping the tears away from Kotori's face. "I know you practice at night in the back; I know this is your dream. Underneath my bed is a sword passed down by generations in our family. Take it. A few years ago, I found your name engraved on the sword meaning you're his next wielder. Take him and learn to protect the people you love and do so without regret."

"Why...why are telling me this now?"

"Because I can't protect you from everything," responded her mother. "...become stronger than him...don't let him consume you."

"Him? Are you talking about-"

"When the time comes, you will understand. I know you will become someone important; someone with worth. Live happily. You truly are my greatest treasure. I love you, Kotori."

The funeral was difficult for her. Tears cascaded down her face as she spoke her last words to her mother. She clutched the sword in her hands and with one final squeeze she rose from the ground. She gave one last smile for her mother as she wiped away her tears. With sword in hand, she kissed her mother's tombstone and walked away to her future.

* * *

The admission part of the academy proved nothing but a breeze to Kotori; she passed the exam and demonstrated more than an adequate amount of reitsu. Officials, however, were surprised to see her with a sword. Upon entering the academy, students select a sword there, but Kotori already had one in hand. The opening ceremony was beautiful and the academy was everything she expected it to be.

Her days in the academy quickly turned into weeks and soon enough, she became one of the top students. She was excellent with her sword, but struggled with the simplest kidō. These spells happened to not favor Kotori and would often explode in front of her face. Instead of quitting out of frustration like most students, she silently picks herself up and tries again. Fellow students would often come up to her and ask if she wanted to eat lunch or spar with them but she often refused stating she was busy. The library consumed most of her time; reading instantly became her favorite pastime. Books offered her knowledge she couldn't imagine and she took advantage of this opportunity since her home district didn't offer any. Her favorite book currently happened to be _Kidō and You_.

She woke up one morning with a book on her face. Gently taking the green colored book out of her face, she noticed the time of day.

_'Looks like I missed my first class...'_

She groaned at the thought of her teacher yelling at her and the amount of work he's going to assign her for missing class. With her sword in one hand and the book in the other, she left her mess of a room.

"Sachi-san!"

Kotori heard her name be called in the hallway and turned around.

"Hello, Mae-san."

"No need to call me by my last name! I mean we're classmates so just call me Tokimi!"

Tokimi Mae was not the average girl. She didn't grow up in Rukongai like a large amount of students there; she was apart of the Royal family. Her short strawberry-blonde hair was always combed neatly and curled in every possible way one can think of. Her bright blue eyes were the envy of every girl as well as her wealth.

"Was there something you need, Tokimi-san?"

"Well to start off, you didn't miss much today from class...and I know we're not close...but I noticed you have an open class!" she began. "…and I was wondering if you'd like to fill it with calligraphy with me. I mean if it's not a burden to you!"

"Do you plan on writing pretty letters to your opponent? Or is there a deeper meaning as to why you want me to join this class with you?"

"It's true what they say, you are a smart one, Kotori-san," She said. A faint blush crept on her cheeks as she began to fiddle with her hands. "Well…well it's because I heard a rumor the instructor is very kind and extremely good-looking. I heard with one smile he can make a girl swoon!"

"Then why am I needed?"

"The class barely started now and truth be told, I don't want to be by myself. With another girl with me, I won't look creepy. I mean I'd look a girl that just wanted to join the class to gawk at the instructor!"

_'But you will be gawking at him.'_

"So? Yes or no?"

"I suppose so-"

"Great! So great!" Tokimi exclaimed as she grabbed Kotori's arm. "C'mon! The class starts in two minutes!"

The two passed through the doors to a classroom filled with girls. There were girls from all different years clamored together fighting for chairs.

_'Wow, I guess Tokimi-san wasn't the only one...'_

"Find us some seats? I want to introduce myself to our new instructor!" Tokimi sang. "Thanks so much!"

_'As I thought, she leaves me for the instructor.'_

Kotori found two seats at the very back and sat. She silently watched as a group of girls confronted the instructor.

"How's my work? I practiced all night like you said I should!"

"It's so nice to meet you! I love your works and I'm so thankful to be in your class!"

"The pleasure is all mine," he smiled. "Please take your seats now, class is going to start."

Tokimi, as well as the crowd, left the front and towards their seat.

"You couldn't have picked seats any closer? I guess these will do for today, but tomorrow let's get the front seats!" she stated. "So?"

"So what?"

"What do you think? Isn't he gorgeous or what!"

Kotori turned her attention to the instructor. Indeed, he was handsome. From head toe, his panache was evident. His crisp brown hair not only framed, but flattered his face along with his dark square glasses. He wore the standard black and white shihakushō with a 5th Division's armband which identified him as the lieutenant.

_'Guess she wasn't kidding when she said good-looking.'_

"Good afternoon class," he smiled. "My name is Aizen Sōsuke, and I will be your instructor for this year."

"Isn't he simply dreamy, Kotori-san?! I mean wow. I thought he'd be cute but not this! Hey, are you paying attention?"

She wasn't.

A month passed by quickly with Tokimi around. She wasn't the same type of company like Shinji, but it was company. She cared more for her appearance, her hair, and her makeup than her studies. Kotori learned to tune her out within the first couple of days of meeting her. Like her, Tokimi Mae never revealed much except for her obsession with Aizen and her fortune.

"What are you doing tomorrow, Kotori-san? Hope nothing important!" she said, entering Kotori's room. "Well doesn't matter because guess what! Some of the captains will be here! I want to impress them and show them how strong I am! Oh, what should I wear? Wait, what are you going to wear, Kotori-san?"

"I'm just going to wear this. No point in changing when I still have class to attend," she said casually.

"Maybe if you stop reading books and start doing something about your hair, you'll start to understand what I'm going through right now."

Kotori continued reading her book, ignoring Tokimi and her rants.

"Oh fine, don't listen to me! Well anyways, I'm going to wear this necklace my mother bought for me and these very cute sandals I got the other day…"

* * *

"There! There! The captains are there! Past the large group!"

She instantly left Kotori and ran towards the group. Tokimi pushed past several of her classmates; she also yelled at one of them for stepping on her foot. The girls screamed in delight while the men asked questions about their battle experiences. Kotori shook her head, picked up _Kidō and You_ and began reading. That was until she heard a familiar voice.

"I'm here! Captain of the Fifth Division!" he announced proudly. "Oi, Sōsuke! I thought I told ya to wear something stylish."

"Your attire is similar to mine," he smiled. "Besides, we're here at the academy not a ceremony."

The two men greeted the cheering students and enlightened them with stories. Three captains were present: the Fifth, Eighth, and the Thirteenth, along with their lieutenants. The captains laughed, joked, and smiled. Kotori stopped reading and stared at Shinji. His facial structure had grown more mature. He still had his bangs but his blonde hair was much longer and reached his mid back. His attitude was completely the same as it was decades ago. Shinji smiled at the girls and allowed them to touch his hair, but his smile started to fade when he saw Kotori. Their eyes met once again, light brown orbs on hazel ones, only this time Kotori didn't hide. She didn't smile. Her gaze grew emotionless when she saw him.

"Captain Hirako? Is something the matter? Are we pulling your hair too hard?"

He wasn't listening to them.

"Captian Hirako?"

"Sorry! Come again?"

He went back to talking to the students. Kotori stood there staring at her old friend or was he not a friend anymore? After decades, he's finally there in front of her! She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. _'No,'_ she thought, _'The past is the past.' _and walked away reading her book. It was time for her to leave to a quieter area.

Not far from the group, someone else was watching her.

Aizen watched as she left the premises with book in hand. From afar, he knew what book she was reading. No other book had a stain so dark on the back cover: _Kidō and You_. He smiled cunningly and turned way towards the library.


	2. The Illuminating Night

**Chapter Two: The Illuminating Night**

_"I can't look at the stars  
They make me wonder where you are  
Stars, up on heaven's boulevard  
And if I know you at all, I know you've gone too far  
So I, I can't look at the stars."_

_"Stars" by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals_

* * *

_'Why? Why is he here?'_

She had to leave; she couldn't abide by the courtyard. The tears she wept were not for the public to see, for Hirako Shinji to see. Putting on a mask was much harder than she expected. Her facade was to protect her, secure her from this pain, but instead it began to impair once she locked eyes with him. As she departed from the scene, her mask began to crumble.

_'I need to escape. Anywhere...anywhere but here.'_

A wave of emotion rushed towards her. Kotori believed she was ready to face Shinji, but once she saw him she froze. Luckily for her, she mustered up enough energy to keep an emotionless gaze. To break down right in front of him would not prove beneficial.

_'Why the hell am I crying?! I told myself years ago to stop crying...to move on. Just stop! Damn it, stop crying!'_

Tears continued to cascade down her face as she hugged herself tightly behind a pillar.

_'Breathe,'_ she thought, _'Just breathe.'_

Kotori knew she had to face him one day, whether it was a hundred years from now or tomorrow. It was kismet, but she didn't know if she was ready to talk to Shinji. Slowly, she released herself and rose. As she stood, a beaten green colored book dropped from her grasp.

_'Kidō and You,'_ she read, turning to the first page,_ 'That's right, today's my last day. I can't forget to renew you. Hopefully no one's at the library.'_

By the time she entered the book filled room, her tears had dried. No one was inside; everyone was outside greeting and socializing with the division captains, and Kotori was thankful for that. She headed straight towards the main desk to renew her book but when she reached it, the librarian was not present. Instead there stood a small sign that read "Out at lunch. Be back in an hour". Kotori decided to wait; she did not have anywhere else to go, no other plans. After placing the book on top of a nearby table, she sat down. Her eyes roamed around and spotted paper. She did what she found most relieving and that was to write.

_November 3rd_

_To be honest, I don't even know the purpose as to why I'm writing. Maybe it's because I need a scapegoat from reality...or maybe because I don't have anyone to share my thoughts with. Nothing now seems right but then again when was anything right? I thought attending the academy would help me forget him. Instead, I'm now faced with the fact he's a Captain. Should I pack up my belongings and leave just as he did? I don't know...what I do know for certain is that I miss my mother. I miss her very presence next to me and her kind words. Ha, I even miss her food! Mom, I hope you're alright. Without you, I wouldn't be here. So this...all of my hard effort and training...this will be for you, Mom._

She paused for a moment. What else should she write? Kotori decided to continue writing as if she were talking to her mother.

_Is today real? Or am I dreaming? He fell without warning and I can't help but feel hurt...this feeling inside me still lurks ever since he left us. He was able to live his dream: to become a Shinigami. I was able to live a nightmare- a nightmare which I can't escape. Selfish as this may seem but why were we the ones hurt? He didn't even dare to stop once to think how would we feel? Leaving in the middle of the night...what good is that!? Ha...look at me mother, I sound exactly like a bickering wife. I am no wife but a hurt friend. If you were here, you would make jokes about this and tell me everything will be alright...but who will tell me everything will be better now?_

"I do enjoy a good book about kidō myself."

Quickly, Kotori shoved the paper inside her pocket. This was not done in a surreptitious manner but as long as the paper was out of sight. Slowly, she turned her stiff body towards the voice.

"I'm sorry, did I startle you?" He confessed, "I'm quite surprised actually. I have never met another person here interested in _Kidō and You_ as well."

Aizen Souske smiled kindly at Kotori as he pulled out the chair in front of her.

"You are reading this, correct?" He asked, pointing at the book.

"Oh, yes! I started reading a couple weeks ago. You read _Kidō and You_?"

"I have read it several times," He smiled, "Not a difficult read but nonetheless enjoyable. Have you reached the Hadō section of the book?"

"I'm...still on the Bakudō section."

"There is nothing wrong with that," Aizen chuckled, "You're still a first year, Sachi-san. There are several fourth year students that still cannot perform a proper Shakkahō."

His serene voice relaxed her but that didn't prevent Kotori from being cautious. She did not feel his presence enter the library; he came like a silent ghost. Something about him scared her, but she was curious to learn more.

"Are you proficient in any of these spells, Aizen-san?"

"Proficient, yes. Other than that, I'm not as advanced as the captains," he answered modestly, "How are you with Kidō, Sachi-san?"

"Wait...if you don't mind me asking but how do you know my name? I don't remember ever talking to you before."

"I know the name of all of my students. What type of teacher would I be?" He smiled, picking up _Kidō and You_.

"Suppose not a very good one."

"Correct, a teacher is one who teaches for the benefit of their students. We have to evaluate your strengths and weaknesses, and then improve upon them. Every student differs," he described, flipping to the first chapter of the book, "For example, Sachi-san, your weakness currently is with the fourth spell, Hainawa."

"And how do you know this?"

"Simple," he revealed the indent on the page Kotori left, "You keep referring back to this page either because you are extremely interested in rope or because you are having difficulties with this spell. In my opinion, I believe it is the latter."

He set the book back down on the table with the very same smile he had on a moment ago. Kotori did not know what to think of him: a genius detective or creepy. She couldn't help but wonder if all skilled Shinigami were like this. Aizen did not only have everything correct, but he conducted all this information by just looking at the book. Still, whether Aizen knew it or not, there were flaws to his statement.

"Though you are correct, Aizen-san, but..." she challenged, "why did you ask me how I was with Kidō when you knew the answer all along?"

She trapped him.

"It was to see if you knew you are having difficulties."

Or so she thought. She blinked several times at his answer.

"If you need help with Kidō, I will be willing to teach you some techniques," he offered.

"Oh no, I'm fine. Why ask a proficient when there are advanced Shinigamis around?" she joked to herself.

"You are correct, Sachi-san," he laughed, "The same as to why I am asking to help you when there are students more willing to learn."

Before Kotori had the time to come back with something, Aizen stood up from his chair.

"I'm sorry to cut this conversation short, Sachi-san, but I have to return to paperwork."

"Oh it's alright, Aizen-san. Work is work done."

"I shall be seeing you in class Tuesday then. Enjoy the rest of your day," He smiled, exiting the library main door.

Kotori waved her teacher goodbye and sighed in relief. The conversation ended and the library returned to its nature state: silence. She silently thanked Aizen for distracting her from Shinji. The doleful expression she had on earlier did not suit her. She attended the academy to strive away from sadness, to strive away from Shinji.

_'No, I have to stay here to become stronger. I will no longer hide away. I...have to make amends with Shinji.'_

Her resolve. She found her resolve. Kotroi cannot eschew him for the rest of her life; he is apart of her life that cannot be erased. A small smile found its way to her lips.

"Miss! Did you need any help?"

The librarian returned from her lunch and from the smell that escaped her, she had miso soup.

"Yes! Just let me grab my book-"

Kotori stopped mid sentence because the book no longer was on the table. She pulled out the chair she sat on and searched underneath the table, but the book could not be found.

_'Did Aizen take it by mistake?'_

She continued to ask herself because he was the last one to hold the book.

"Miss?" the librarian impatiently asked, "Did you have to renew a book?"

"Never mind. I seem to have misplaced the book."

"Then you do know that for every day you do not return it there is a fine, correct?"

"Yes, I know."

"Then hurry and find the book, please."

Kotori stepped outside of the library and hurried back to her dorm.

_'If only someone didn't take my book, I wouldn't have to pay the fine. Oh well, I'm sure he'll return it soon.'_

A loud sigh escaped from her as she laid on her bed. Hearing the sound of paper in her pocket, she reached inside and unraveled it. At least no one had the paper. Kotori looked outside her window. The sky had darkened to a navy blue while the stars twinkled and danced. She loved the night sky. Each star represented something new; there was a story to all of them. She smiled as the stars glistened, reminding her of times when she was younger. A cold breeze suddenly swept in causing Kotori to shiver. Closing her window shut, she returned to palliating the issue of the missing book. She quickly wrote down one last sentence on her paper and turned off the lights. Darkness quickly filled her room as she covered herself in blankets. Her last words read:

_Aizen Sōsuke has to pay for my overdue book._

* * *

"It's about time you guys return back to yer dorms. The moon's already out!"

"But Hirako-san! You were going to tell us another story!" A student cried, "Perhaps the one of how you became a Captain?"

"Nice try, but it's gettin' late. You guys return back. You have class tomorrow."

"Fine," they all mumbled, "Good night, Hirako-san! Come visit us at the academy soon!"

The group of seven students quickly left to return to their dorms. They spend the entire evening talking to various captains and asking them questions about themselves. Fun as it may sound, Shinji found it a bit tiresome. Student after student would ask the same question, and he grew bored being redundant of his answers. He waved the students goodbye and once they could not be seen anymore, he turned towards the Fifth Division Barracks. After stretching his arms, he returned them back to his pockets and raised his head at the starry sky.

_'The sky's filled with stars...Kotori-chan would be happy to see them.'_

A doleful expression crept its way to Shinji's face. He knew Kotori would one day come to the academy and he was ready to answer any question she threw at him. However, she asked no questions. She did not cry. She did not yell. She simply acknowledge him as if he were vermin. When he looked into her eyes, he noticed the light disappeared from them. Her eyes were emotionless and hollow. He felt a tug at his heart.

_'If I had known...'_

He reached his office, but did not open the door.

_'If I had known you would hold so much sadness now, I wouldn't have left.'_

Frustration hit him faster than lightning. He wanted to find Kotori and apologize for his wrongs. Leaving her kindled her current state. She didn't deserve this; she deserved a reason, an explanation. The office door creaked opened and Shinji quickly garnered these feelings away.

"Returning so late, Captain Hirako?"

Aizen stood inside the office holding the door open for his captain.

"I've been busy," Shinji responded casually, as he entered the office, "Besides where have you been?"

"Unlike you, I have been here finishing paperwork which you have neglected to do Captain."

Shinji arrived at his desk and noticed his mountain of papers disappeared. His lieutenant told the truth; Aizen finished all of his captain's paperwork along with his. Turning his attention away from his barren desk, he watched as Aizen pulled out a chair to read a book that was on the table. Aizen analyzed the book intently as if there was a cryptic message inside.

"What's that yer reading, Sōsuke?"

His lieutenant looked at him, confused.

"Ya look so interested in that book."

"It's simply a book I borrowed from a student in one of my classes," he smiled to himself, "_Kidō and You_."

* * *

Bang, bang.

Bang, bang.

"Kotori! Kotori! Open this door now! C'mon! We're going to be late for class!"

Cacophonous knocks greeted Kotori early the next morning. Groaning at the harsh awakening, she grabbed her pillow and covered her ears. She wanted the noise to disappear. Tokimi, however, did not stand by her wishes.

"You better not still be asleep! Kotori, hurry up!"

The door swung open swiftly. Kotori used it to prop her up as if she were in need of support from a materialistic object.

"Sorry, Tokimi-san. I'm not feeling well. Do you mind heading to class by yourself?" She lied.

"Wow, you really aren't doing so well. I mean you look bad...well a bit worse than your usual self." Tokimi confessed as she felt Kotori's forehead, "Do you need any medicine?"

"No, I'm fine. I'm sure I'll be better later today."

"C'mon, I feel bad for leaving a friend in a state like this," she whined, "Are you sure there's nothing I can get for you?"

"Yes, I'm sure. If anything, you can come over later today and tell me what we learned in Kidō class."

"Will do! And if I may say something..."

"What is it, Tokimi-san?"

"You have to let me do something to your hair one day!" She exploded, pointing at Kotori's hair, "It doesn't even look like you've combed it today!"

"Maybe that's because someone here didn't give me an opportunity to comb my hair with her constant banging on my door."

"Oops..." Tokimi spoke, as she slowly walked away from the door, "Didn't want us to be late to class but since you're not going, I'll see you later!"

She ran down the elongated hallway, pushing several students away. Time was running out and she had to hurry to attend class. Tokimi Mae never had any manners. She spoke what ever was on her mind, which usually were rude comments about one's clothing and hair. But no one dared to say anything to her or at least in front of her face. Power was what she had; she had the power and money of a noble. She's also friends with other noble students which in turn, created a gap between her and the student majority who, like Kotori, came from Rukongai.

"Finally, some peace and quiet."

Kotori closed the door and crawled back into her bed. Inconsiderate as this may sound, but she did not really care for Tokimi. In her opinion, Tokimi Mae will drift away from her once they graduate. She's not one to abide by one's side due to her selfish ways. She only cares about herself. Kotori groaned at the fact for missing another day of class. This will be her second time absent from Kidō class and she already owed time for the last one. Then there was her issue dealing with Shinji; she had to face him.

_'Where can he be?! Soul Society is huge!'_

She shook her head in annoyance.

_'I need some fresh. Thinking about this makes me want to bulge my eyes out.'_

She quickly brushed her raven colored hair and tied it in a side pony tail. Wearing her academy shihakushō would cause unwanted attention, so Kotori took the liberty to change into a casual loose-fitting yukata. After she locked her door, Kotori headed towards the market.

The afternoon sun grazed the market in Rukongai but that did not affect anyone. Everyone who has lived in Rukongai adjusted themselves to the roaring sun. Consumers far and wide traveled from their homes to buy the freshest ingredients. The aroma of bread filled Kotori's nose as she entered the market. Walking down the earthy terrain, she saw bountiful shops but one stand in particular stole her attention: the flower stand.

_'This stand hasn't changed a bit...I can still smell the roses from outside.'_

Kneeling in front of a bucket of freshly cut wild roses, she inhaled their aroma. Only on the very day the roses are cut, these deep velvet beauties excreted the loveliest smell. Kotori smiled brightly as she smelled the roses, but she instantly left once she caught a glimpse of her favorite flowers. She pulled a single white calla lily and touched its soft spathe.

"Would the pretty lady like to buy one?" The elderly merchant asked, "Or how about the roses?"

"Oh no, no thank you. Just looking at one is enough for me."

"There are no lilies where you come from?"

"Sadly no, not many flowers of any kind," Kotori responded, standing up, "There are more trees and grass where I come from."

"How sad indeed. Is pretty lady sure she doesn't want to buy any?"

"Yes, yes. I am very sure. Thank you."

Kotori left the stand and continued walking around the market. The market offered everything one can imagine from food, jewelry, and even weapons. But Kotori came to the market place to buy one thing and she will leave with that one thing.

"Buy some bread! They're good for yer for health!"

"Fresh water! Fresh from the mountain top! This will help rejuvenate the body and soul!"

"Weapons! Come and get your weapons! The finest swords in Soul Society!"

The raven haired girl stopped at a particular stand. There were boxes stacked to the very top of the fabric, but Kotori did not need any yarn. She found an old worn out box and searched through the copious neglected journals. At the very bottom of the box, she found a leather journal much to her liking.

"Excuse me, sir! How much for this?" She yelled, waving the worn out journal high.

"That old thing? You can keep it, but why don't you look at these one's instead?" He persuaded, "They're much prettier...and look! A pink one that suits you."

"No, thank you. I'm fine with this one." She defended, thanking the man.

"Well if you end up not liking that old journal, you know where to fine me!"

Kotori left the stand with a cringe on her mouth.

_'I'm sure no one wants a bright pink journal...'_

The bright sun slowly died down, retreating back to the horizon. Noticing the time of day, Kotori believed it was time to return back to her room. As she neared the entrance of the market, the sound of hurried footsteps came her way.

"Pretty lady! Pretty lady!"

Kotori turned around to face the flower merchant she talked to a while ago. From the looks of him, he ran all the way from his stand to find her. Once he caught his breath, he handed her a bouquet of freshly picked white calla lilies.

"I'm sorry. I think you have the wrong person," She stated trying to return the lilies back.

"No, no. These are for you," he confirmed, "Someone paid for these after you left and told me to give them to you."

"Someone? Who was it?"

"I cannot say but it was a man of high power."

"High power? Who- hey! Wait! Don't leave!"

It was too late, the merchant not only escaped her but her question as well.

_'Who could this be? Someone of high power? I'm not familiar with anyone of high power. Wait...Shinji.'_

She looked at the bouquet in her hands. Why on earth would Shinji buy her flowers? A small smile escaped from her as she held the lilies close. She'll ask him when she finds him. Kotori returned home from her day at the market. After placing the white lilies in a vase, she heard someone knock on her door. It was none other than Tokimi Mae.

"Oh thank goodness! You're home!" Tokimi cried, "I came an hour ago trying tell you what we learned!"

"Sorry, I was out this afternoon."

"No duh, Kotori! You should've left a note. I was worried someone kidnapped you or something. Oh hey! What's that?" She granted herself permission into Kotori's room and walked over to the bouquet on her desk. "These are pretty. Well not as pretty as the roses I have in my room, but what are they?"

"They're calla lilies."

"Pretty, pretty, pretty," she exaggerated, "Oh! Who gave them to you?! Is it a secret boyfriend I don't know about? Kotori, you have to tell me!"

"Look, I don't know and you can't barge into someone's room like that."

"Well sorry, I thought I was your friend. How rude of you, but since I'm nice I'll forgive ya!" Tokimi chirped, sitting on Kotori's bed. "Hopefully whoever got these for ya will ask you to the Winter Festival."

"The Winter Festival?"

"You don't know?!" She gasped loudly, "It's an annual event that happens at the academy. There will be food, games, and lights. Oh, everything is so beautiful there! The colorful lights and lanterns illuminate the night sky! Everyone's dressed out of their uniforms and into formal attire. So hopefully everyone will look nice for a change. The guys will groom themselves up, while we girls wear cute kimonos! You'll love it, Kotori!"

_'I highly doubt it.'_

"Do I have to go with someone?"

"You'll look awkward without a date, Kotori."

"I'm not promising anything," she stated, "Besides, who are you going with?"

"Is that even a question?! Of course with Aizen-sama! Ah, I can imagine us now...him asking me with that gentle voice of his and me saying yes!"

"He hasn't even asked you yet, Tokimi-san."

"So?! That doesn't mean he won't! He still has a little over a month!"

Kotori sighed, "When is the Winter Festival anyway?"

"On December 15th!"

"Then he better ask you soon before the girls in our class ask him first."

"You're right! I can't let them have him!"

"Why won't you ask him instead?"

"But I'll sound desperate...if I do ask him, I can't too soon or too late. Patience Kotori, it's all about patience."

"Yes...patience. I never would have know you had it in you."

"Then you don't know me at all!"

"Sure, now get out of my room please," Kotori demanded, "I'm tired and it's time for bed."

"Oh fine, fine! Only if you let me do your hair for the festival!"

"If I go to the festival."

"No! You have to attend!"

"Alright, alright fine. Do my hair if that means getting you out of my room."

"Yes! I'll see you at Aizen-sama's class tomorrow!"

_'That's right. Every Tuesday and Thursday, I have calligraphy. Guess missing class today messed I'll my train of thought.'_

The animated diva left the room surprisingly without a bang. Kotori thanked the world that Tokimi finally left her room and in one piece. Taking one last look at the lilies, she smiled and thought of Shinji. She still is upset at him but there much be a reason and he was going to explain. His departure did leave a gap in her heart but she hoped for the best. She hoped for things to return as they were, for her to overcome this sadness he left. Kotori turned off the lights and glanced at the starry sky and waited for tomorrow.

* * *

**_And now, we take a peek at the past._**

"Shinji! Slow down! I can't keep up!"

"That's yer fault, Kotori-chan! Catch me if ya can!" the young energetic boy hollered.

Nearly three weeks passed after Kotori's first encounter with Shinji. After spending much time with the blonde boy, she learned one important thing about him; he was adventurous. Just three days ago, he taught Kotori how to steal water surreptitiously without being caught. Her first attempt proved disastrous but after her third try, she was able to steal water like a professional. However, stealing water from a grumpy merchant is not their task today; it's climbing a large hill.

The grassy terrain tickled Kotori's feet. There was a slow flowing river to her right, but the river was not where the two were going. She hurried over to Shinji but whenever she reached him, he ran away further. This was a game of cat and mouse.

"Shinji! Stop running away! I'm getting tired!" the young girl cried, "Where are we even going!?"

"I told ya already, it's a surprise!"

"Can't you just tell me already?"

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise now would it?" He smirked, "Besides, we're almost there."

"That's what you said an hour ago!"

"Patience, Kotori-chan! Patience!"

She mumbled something underneath her breath and hoped Shinji did not hear. Growing tired of walking, Kotori paused for a quick break. Shinji appeared to not have noticed as he continued walking up the grassy hill. The young hazel eyed girl spotted something near the river. She knew what they were and hurried over.

The sun may have descended and darkened the sky, but Kotori noticed these flowers right away. Their pure white form and pollen filled middle are recognizable to her in any time of day. She touched the large flower spathe with his finger and trailed the spiral form.

"Oi, Kotori-chan. Whatcha lookin' at down there?"

His sudden presence made her lose balance and fall behind, but luckily Shinji caught her.

"You have to stop falling for me, Kotori-chan," he smirked, pulling her back up to her feet, "I'm flattered and all, but we just met."

"You liar," softy punching his shoulder, "Stop scaring me like that! You know I can't tell when you're behind me!"

"Then ya better start learning from the pro," he stated proudly, pointing at himself.

"Some pro you are...scaring people senselessly."

"Nah, I don't scare just anyone. It's just scaring you," he confessed casually, "Besides, what's that there? Weird lookin' flowers."

"These right here are calla lilies and they're not weird looking, they're pretty."

Shinji looked at the white lilies from all angles possible, analyzing the details of each one. After a moment, he plucked one by the stem. He strangely looked at the stem because he accidentally pulled out the root along with it. The stem was too long for him so he broke the stem so that only two inches were left.

"What are you doing!?" Kotori protested, "Don't pick the flower!"

But Shinji didn't listen and merely tucked the white lily behind Kotori's left ear.

"It looks prettier on you than on the ground."

"What-"

"Hurry up!" He yelled, grabbing Kotori's hand, "We're almost here and the sun's already down!"

The two quickly ran to the top of the hill. By the time they both reached the apex, they were short of breath. Kotori wanted to yell at Shinji for making her travel so far.

"No time to take a breath, Kotori-chan! Look at the sky!"

"What are you-"

The urge of wanting to yell disappeared. She couldn't yell at him because the scene bestowed upon her was breath taking. There, in the cloudless night, shined millions of stars. Colors varying from the lightest cream to an emerald green laid across the night sky. Kotori stood there flabbergasted and smiled ever so brightly. Never had she witnessed such a beautiful scene in her life.

While Kotori stared at the sky, Shinji was staring at her. He mused at the fact her eyes were so bright, perhaps even brighter than the stars in his opinion. She never looked so happy like she is now. Her radiant awestruck smile made him laugh; she looked like a confused fool. But even her flabbergasted look did not pry away from her beauty. Kotori was the true star that night and he smiled proudly at this accomplishment.

"Hey, Kotori-chan, lay down will ya? It won't strain your neck."

"Hm? Oh, okay."

She laid down next to Shinji on the grassy floor. She didn't know what to think; the sky was absolutely beautiful in every way possible. Two hours of walking was worth this and she was willing to experience it again.

"Hey, Shinji?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you."

"Wow," he turned his head facing her, "I didn't know you know how to thank someone."

"I do!" She laughed, "I just don't like thanking you so don't get used to it!"

"I won't, I won't."

"So how did you come across this place?"

"Like I said, it's a secret, Kotori-chan."

She asked no further questions; she didn't want to ruin the mood. The stars danced in the moonlight and across the night sky, twinkling brighter than the moon itself. Kotori smiled, but this time not for the stars; it was for Shinji. The thought of him planning out the evening and taking her on top of this grassy hilltop changed her opinion of him. He wasn't just adventurous, he was compassionate.

He understood what Kotori needed and he was willing to make her happy. She needed to escape from an uneventful morning that day. Shinji came to her aid like a superhero. Not only did her give her company, he gave her more than just that. He gave her the stars. Stars that will forever bond them together. These stars will forever remind her of this day, but the true star will always be Shinji. He's the star that will forever burn brightly in Kotori's mind.

And for the rest of the night, the two stars laid next to each other illuminating together as one.


	3. Loneliness, My Friend

**Chapter Three: Loneliness, My Friend**

_"Something always brings me back to you._  
_It never takes too long._  
_No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone."_

_"Gravity" by Sara Bareilles_

* * *

"There you are! What took you so long, Kotori?! Class is about to start!"

Waking up early is not one of her perks. Unlike that of Tokimi Mae, she found no logical reason to arrive to class an hour early with hair and makeup done. Kotori rather spend that time sleeping or even training. The rambunctious blue-eyed girl pulled Kotori over to the seat she saved. The seat of course happened to be in the very front row where Aizen's admirers sat.

"Oh no," she breathed. She did not want to be apart of this.

"Aizen-sama is such a catch isn't he?"

"A catch? You mean a prize!"

"He's so incredibly good-looking. His smile melts my heart!"

Squeals of delight emerged from the swooned girls. Kotori cringed at the sight; the girls frighten her.

_'These girls need to ruminate their love for our teacher...'  
_

"What do you think of Aizen-sama?" Tokimi asked out of curiosity.

"Excuse me?"

"Like what do you admire about him? His looks? His charisma? His intelligence?" A girl interjected from the group. "I mean for me it's his smile. Ah! Just thinking about it makes me happy!"

"For me, it's..."

The girls continued on with their conversation without a response from Kotori. She wanted out. Out of the group, out of the room, out of whatever dealing with Aizen. Tokimi often complained about her 'ditching her for those useless books' and not 'having enough friends'. However, this was not her idea of interacting with others. Slowly, she grabbed her belongings one at a time and placed them in her bag.

"Good morning class."

But it was too late to leave for their god had arrived.

Half way through class, Kotori had enough of the girl's gossip and moved seats to the very back of the classroom. She appeased her mind by laying her head on the cold desk and slowly her eyes drew to a close.

_"Bet cha can't do this!"_

_The ebullient blond boy smiled proudly as he swung upside down from the branch. A young Kotori stood across Shinji with her arms crossed. Her hazel eyes slightly squinted due to the sun in her face. Three days passed since their first meeting. Much to Kotori's surprise Shinji continued to show his face. She believed he would have left out of boredom with her after the first day but no, he's still here._

_"Anyone can do that, Shinji. Now get down."_

_"You don't have to be so concerned about me, Kotori!"_

_"Why would I be concerned about you?" She protested. "You're the last person on earth I would want to save."_

_"You're a terrible liar."_

_"And how would you know?"_

_He jumped down from the branch and dusted himself off._

_"One, you don't look at the person you're talking to and two, I know you care for me because I'm your friend," he grinned._

_"I don't need you to be my friend," she pouted. _

_"Then you'll be lonely in this world!"_

_"Loneliness is my only friend."_

_Shinji stared Kotori. He then bumped her forehead with his._

_"Ow! Why did you do that?!" she complained, rubbing the mark he left._

_"Because you're saying weird things about your only friend being loneliness. Now why would you say that when you have a friend right in front of your very own eyes?!" he loudly proclaimed. "If you want, I'll be your only friend!"_

_She couldn't say anything. Not after such a bold statement. _

_"Why don't cha talk to the other kids? Like the girls? They're nice."_

_"Nice to you," She spoke after re-composing herself. "All they talk about are themselves and other girls. Besides, I don't really need them; I have my mom by my side...and I suppose you. She's the only person I trust."_

_"Do you trust me?"_

_"We'll see."_

"Hey Kotori-san! Wake up, class is over! Want to grab some tea with us?"

Her eyes opened and came in contact with blue orbs that belonged to none other than Tokimi. Frantically waving her hand in front of Kotori's face, she had no choice but to get up in order for Tokimi to stop.

"I have to go and buy some bread for today."

"Aw, c'mon!" She whined profusely. "You need to make some friends! Just come with us for like an hour and then go buy your bread! Oh, speaking of which, I need some bread as well. Do you mind grabbing some for me?"

"Fine, I'll go if that means you'll stop pestering me."

"I'm not pestering you!" She defended. "I just don't want you to be lonely!"

"Lonely?"

Tokimi grabbed her arm and pulled her to the group of girls waiting by the door. When they arrived at the tea shop, Kotori sat next to Tokimi while the other three sat together. While the other girls gossiped, not a word escaped from Kotori's mouth. She had nothing to say to the group; she didn't know them and they never asked about her. They only talked about themselves and other girls.

"So lets talk...about the Winter Festival!"

"Wah! I can't wait to try on this new kimono my mom bought me! It's super cute and I bet it'll look cuter with me in it."

"Well I bet you mine will look cuter," one girl interjected. "...and I'll have a cuter date."

"Speaking of dates...," the three girls turned their attention on Tokimi. "Do you finally have the guts to ask Aizen-sama?"

"Guts?" She cited. "Of course I have the guts! He won't say no to a girl like me!"

"Oh please, Tokimi. He'll probably reject you like he did to me."

"You asked him, Hana?! Why were we not aware of this?"

"Because I wanted him as my date," She simply said. "But in the end he said no to me and like five other girls...which I find absurd because I thought he'll say yes to me at least."

"Aizen-sama sure is a picky one isn't me," the other two girls giggled.

"What about you, Kotori? Who are you going with?" Tokimi asked, switching the subject away from her.

"No one," she stated as she took a sip of her tea. "Besides I'm not going."

"What! You promised me you were going!"

"I promised nothing."

"Ah, you're so mean, Kotori! C'mon, it'll be fun," Tokimi whined. "There will be food, dances, you name it!"

"Why aren't you going?"

"Festivals just aren't my cup of tea."

"Yeah, neither is that hair of yours," Hana silently scoffed to herself.

Kotori heard her remark but said nothing. Instead, she smiled to herself behind the cup she was drinking from. She didn't need to waste her time with opinions. All they do is talk about themselves and put down others. These girls wanted to be dominate in their looks, fashion, and even the food they eat. A squeal of joy emerged from the girl next to Hana.

"No way, is that Aizen-sama?"

"It can't be...it is! Why is he here?!"

"Let's call him over so he can join us!"

"Hold up! Let me check myself!"

The girls frantically groomed themselves. They checked if any of their makeup smeared and re-applied color to their lips. While the four girls adjusted their looks to their desire, Kotori grabbed her bag and rose from her seat.

"Sorry to cut it short, but I have to get going," Kotori announced but she didn't receive a response.

After she paid her share, she left the tea shop without ruminating. It's best to leave before the girls swoon over in glee. The afternoon sun shined down fully for the clouds were vacant, but it was not hot rather it was breezy. Winter is fast approaching. Before she walk down the same dusty path she did the day before, she tied her raven hair into a loose bun. She stretched her arms lackadaisically and appreciated the silence. No gossiping girls. No loud people. The rest of the day to herself.

"Mind if I walk with you?"

She mentally cursed at the person to the right of her, but figured this person was not a nuisance like the girls. He actually proved to be interesting from their last conversation.

"Be my guest, Aizen-san."

They walked together down the road, but one thing seem to be amiss.

"Were you not at the tea shop?"

"I was," he answered politely. "But I had to leave to the market to buy some items. Why, were you in the shop?"

"Just with some others."

"Friends of yours?"

"I rather associate with myself than with them," she stated with a tinge of dislike. "They're not my friends. I only consider one of them as a colleague."

"That seems rather harsh does it not?"

"Harsh it may be but the concept of friends doesn't suit me well."

He didn't reply to her comment. When Kotori looked at him, he seemed to be analyzing her words.

"Why do you choose to reject others? Is it simply because they're not to your liking?"

"That's not true," she countered. "I choose to reject others because why should I attach myself when in the end, they're just going to leave me like-"

She paused.

"Like?"

"Like nothing," she responded.

"How are you enjoying class?" Aizen asked, redirecting their conversation.

"You mean if I enjoy a bunch of girls gawking at you rather than learning," she replied casually. "So no, I'm not really enjoying class."

"Gawking?"

"You must really be blind to not have noticed," she criticized. "They stare at you, watch your every movement, and it's creepy to say but some even draw your face on their arm during class."

"...That is quite interesting," he mused to himself. "But at least they don't sleep during class."

"Looks like you noticed..."

"It's not hard. You're the only one who sits in the back and sleep nonetheless during my lessons. If you want to be more discreet about not liking my class, then sleeping in the front would help."

"I don't dislike your class, I just..."

"Dislike the people in it?" He smiled.

"Dislike their loud actions. Also, who wants to wake up with your face on someone's arm? That by itself can easily give nightmares."

He chuckled at her statement. His class is clamorous at times, but he chose to ignore it so long as they don't disturb the other classrooms. The two arrive at the active market and stopped walking when they approached a fork in the road.

"I have to go buy some bread," she explained, pointing to the right section.

"Trying to get rid of me, Sachi-san?"

"No, I'm not," she laughed, "What items do you need to buy?"

"They're on the left side of the road. I'll meet you back here in ten?"

"Sounds fine by me. Have fun."

Kotori waved to him as they left their separate ways. She began searching for the bread stand until she heard someone familiar call her over. The flower merchant waved at her with a bright smile on his face.

"Back at the market so soon?" He chatted. Then he leaned in towards her ear and whispered, "And with the man who bought you the flowers."

"What?"

She stared at the elderly merchant with a befuddled look.

"The brown-haired one with glasses?"

"Oh...I...I thought he told you since you two came here together," he confessed.

"Him? He was the one who bought me the flowers? Are you sure?"

"Y-yes, I'm sure. He told me not to tell you though because it was a surprise."

"A surprise it is indeed," she mused to herself.

"Are you going to tell him you know?"

"No...I'm not," she smiled. "Do me a favor and pretend we never had this conversation? I want him to tell me and I'll act surprised when he does."

"Of course!"

After she thanked the merchant, Kotori walked away from the stand with the same confused look on her face.

_'The hell? Aizen? He bought the flowers?'  
_

She pondered to herself about the latest revelation. Why on earth would he buy her flowers? The questions she asked herself all did not have an answer to them. For now, she decided it would be best to wait things out and for her to be more alert around him. Sooner or later, she will find out what is going on. But how could she find a way to get closer to him?

She bought four loaves of bread. Two for her and the other for Tokimi. After grabbing the bags, she returned to their meeting point.

"Were you able to buy the things you needed?" Aizen asked.

"Yep," she replied, lifting up the bags of bread she bought. "You?"

"I did. Let's return."

He led the way back to the academy and continued their conversation.

"How are your kidō classes?" He asked, clearly knowing the answer to this question.

"Not great. It's as you said yesterday, Aizen-san. My weakness is with kidō," she stated. "...and I'm completely baffled with the fourth spell, Hainawa. How does one release a rope with their hands? An energy filled one nonetheless?"

The lieutenant found her confusion amusing and chuckled.

"I'm not trying to be funny. I'm serious!"

"The offer still stand on the table, Sachi-san. I'm willing to teach you kidō," he offered, "That is unless you want someone more advanced than me."

"Though there probably are Shinigamis better than you, I'm willing to take the offer," she smiled to herself. This could be the opportunity she needed to get closer to him.

"Our first lesson will be tomorrow afternoon then. Are you up for the task?"

"Of course," she replied after entering the academy doors.

"I must return back to my division to finish up some work. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"I will," she responded waving goodbye to her teacher.

Aizen walked back towards the Fifth Division barracks. Along the way, people greeted him with respect and congratulated him on the success of his latest mission. He returned their kindness, but as soon as they left his facial expression changed. His soft brown orbs lacked affection, lacked interest in the world he lived in. Kindness, admiration, compassion. To him, they are for the weak and the weak are puppets to his act. An act he is quite proud of.

He stopped in the middle of the grassy terrain and waited. Two figures appeared before him.

"Any news to report?"

"The souls we have gathered in Rukongai proved to be too weak," Tōsen reported as he kneeled. "We need ones that are stronger and more durable during the hollowifaction process."

"That is not of any concern," Aizen assured. "There are plenty of strong ones. We would just have to patiently wait."

"Yes, Aizen-sama," he said, trusting his process. "If I may ask..."

"Go on."

"Why are you taking an interest in Kotori Sachi?" Tōsen asked. "She is of no value. Though she is top of her class with her swordsmanship and direct contact skills, she is weaker in the rest of the areas."

"Maybe because he likes her," Gin snickered.

"Like her? There is nothing special about her to like," he informed. "I'm just conducting an experiment."

* * *

Kotori smiled to herself as she walked down the hallway to her dorm. She had her plan set in motion and it would start tomorrow. It is about time she understands the mystery that is Sōsuke Aizen. She was so concentrated on her mischievous plans that she failed to notice the strawberry-blond in front of her.

"Earth to Kotori! Ya in there?!"

"Sorry, I didn't notice you there, Tokimi," she said. "Why are you in front of my door?"

"You ask why I'm here?!" Tokimi hollered. "I've been waiting here forever for my bread! I thought you died or something! But you're here...with bread, so I guess you can be forgiven. Thanks! I'll see you later now!"

She swiftly grabbed the bag on the left and began walking away towards her room.

"Wait, Tokimi! I have something to ask," She began. "What division is Aizen-san in?"

"Eh? Aizen-sama? The Fifth Division, why?"

"Just wanted to test your knowledge on him," Kotori lied, smiling at the girl in front of her.

"Geez, Kotori. I know like everything about him. No need to test me."

"That may be true," she said with a sigh. "And who's the captain of his division?"

"Hirako Shinji," she answered bemusedly.

"Shinji?"

"Yeah, this blond guy with long hair. Super flirty, not bad to look at either but of course, Aizen-sama is the heart-throb of the Fifth Division! I gotta get going Kotori, this bread should have been in my tummy half an hour ago!"

The animated blond left waving goodbye to Kotori. Upon entering her room, she left the loaves of bread on the table next to the bouquet of white lilies. Before grabbing her journal and sitting on her bed, she stared at the flowers. How can such a small gesture result in so much confusion? Maybe she was over reacting, but a part of her found it odd how Shinji is Aizen's captain. Does Aizen know about them? Impossible she believed. She picked up her pen and began writing.

_November 4th_

___Abstruse as it may be, I don't completely trust this heart-throb of the Fifth. The other girls in my class are completely head over heels for him but for what reason? His smile? His charisma? Those are all qualities that can be found in someone else. Though charming and nice, there's something about him I can't place my finger on. Could he have followed me yesterday? Perhaps, but he have other motives to be in the market. Tomorrow's my first lesson with him...and little by little, I will understand you. Sōsuke Aizen, heart-throb of the Fifth, you have met your match._

___That brings along another subject at mind: Shinji. Are the two involved in something I'm not aware of? It's true I haven't seen Shinji since yesterday but the fact of the matter is that he is avoiding me. I know he saw me, but he made no effort to talk to me. Though saddened by his actions, I am growing impatient. When I find him, I will make him talk to me._

She paused for a moment and remembered what she saw during her nap.

_Loneliness. _

_I encountered it twice today. A memory and through Tokimi. Ever since mom's death, I have grown alone without her. Perhaps, it's kismet...I once believed in Shinji...his words. He was, I suppose, my friend but look how that came out. He left like a breeze in an autumn's day. It's as I said before, loneliness is my only friend. At least I know, it will stay with me forever.  
_

* * *

_November 14th_

_Ten days and still no contact with Shinji. He's avoiding me and this game of cat and mouse is starting to annoy me. I caught him several times in the courtyard but he vanishes before I even get the chance to say a word...however, I can see it in his eyes. A glimmer of regret. I'm sure he can see into my eyes as well: disgust, loneliness, sadness, and...a speckle of hope. A part of me wants to run up to him and hug him, pretend as if nothing has happened between us. But I know better. The past hurts.  
_

_I am growing extremely tried of Tokimi's so called friends. They bitterly comment on others. They pry on those poorer than them. They are demons in disguise. Behind their smile holds a million lies. Their admiration for Aizen has grown and so has Tokimi's. They are placing a large amount of their hope in him. At least they have hope, right? Understanding those type of people are rather easy...but those with the kindest smiles are the ones that fool us all._

_By this, I am speaking about Sōsuke Aizen. Though he has a smile on his face, I believe something is amiss. I can't see it...but I know it's there. Is it loneliness? Ha, yeah right. He has hundreds of admirers. People respect him and vise versa. He and I are the complete opposites. He's kind to everyone around him, while I rather not associate myself with every single person that I meet. Once during one of our lessons, he refused to swat a fly. How kind of him. Allowing a small creature to live. So him being lonely is out of the picture and perhaps the flowers were just a kind gesture. I find no other logical reason._

* * *

_November 21st_

_Little by little, I am finding nothing. __There's nothing suspicious about him and...I'm wrong about Aizen._ He's a kind person and everything he has done has been for the benefit of Soul Society. There's no reason for me to be suspicious. For now, I shall put the flowers...the past behind and focus on my studies. Unbelievable as it may sound, but _I'm warming up to him. He's not like Shinji...he's far away from Shinji and I'm thankful for that. Practice with Aizen have actually been going well and I'll admit...he's actually quite good with __kidō. He has taught me several techniques that make the task easier. My weirdest find about him is that he is quite fond of tofu. He eats them every single day we have lessons. Has he not heard of bean pastries? _  


___Shinji. I'm not putting that past behind because I'm going to tear him a new one when I see him. Does he believe he can hide forever? Anger aside, I...feel alone...without him. After much thought, I realized he brought something to me that Tokimi and Aizen cannot. It's something he shares with my mother. Friendship? No, that's not it. Love? As much as I hate to admit it, but I believe it is. However...it has faded away.  
_

* * *

_November 28th_

_The first bit of snow has arrived. It's beautiful.  
_

_Practice with Aizen have improved my skills. I'm quicker now with ____kidō_. If I am to complain about one thing it would be about Tokimi. Save me from her. She constantly talks about the Winter Festival.  


Bang! Bang! Bang!

_Speaking of the devil._

Kotori got up from her comfortable place in her bed and answered the door.

"Yes-"

"He rejected me!"

Tokimi ran to the bed. Her warms tears began to soak the once dry pillow.

"What happened?"

"I-I went into his office and asked if he wanted to go to the Winter Festival with me," she cried. "Then he said to me with his god damn sweet voice something like oh, I'm sorry. I'm asking someone else but I'm sure you'll find someone great to go with."

"Are you talking about Aizen?"

"Of course I'm talking about Aizen-sama! Who else would I ask?! A dog?!"

"No need to worry, Tokimi," Kotori reassured. "You will find some-"

"Oh I did!" She interrupted, getting up from the bed. "He saw me crying and asked what happened so of course I told him. Then he did the unexpected!"

"What?"

"He asked me to the Winter Festival! Who cares about Aizen-sama anymore! I found someone much better than him to go to the festival with!" She squealed in delight, then looked at Kotori. She wiped her tears away and placed her hands on Kotori's shoulders. "I have to go! I need a kimono! I need new makeup! There's no time, I need to go! Oh, thank you for listening to me!"

With a departing hug, Tokimi left the room. Kotori, confused, found it difficult to understand the crux of Tokimi coming to her room. She cried then she left? Either she's a fickle girl or she doesn't care. So long as she has a date to the Winter Festival, everything will be fine. Kotori turned her hazel eyes towards the window and realized the time.

"I need to get going," she breathed, quickly grabbing her books and leaving her room.

She arrived at a barren land lightly covered by snow. A small shiver went through her body as a cold breeze passed by. She mentally slapped herself for forgetting her scarf. In the end, however, it wouldn't matter because her body would warm up from practice. She spotted a familiar brown-haired lieutenant waving at her with a kind smile on his face.

"Sorry if I'm late."

"You're not late," he smiled casually. "You're on time."

"What are we learning today?"

"We're going to work on a few of the basic bakudō spells."

"Haven't we already done so?"

"We have," he assured, raising his index finger. "But I want to review your progress. I can't teach you some of the harder spells if you have yet to master the basic ones."

"Oh fine," she pouted at his response.

After half an hour of reviewing, Kotori decided it would be best if she laid on the snow filled floor. Though she was able to complete each spell, they took a copious amount of energy from her. She felt exhausted.

"That wasn't actually all that bad, Aizen-san," she said, playing with the snow next to her.

"Is that why you're on the floor?"

"There's nothing wrong with taking a well deserved break after something like that."

"Don't overwhelm yourself next time," he chuckled, giving her a hand up. "I wouldn't want to fight against someone who asks for breaks in between battles."

"Too bad there's no such person!"

A soft snowball landed directly at Aizen's face. He looked baffled as he cleaned his glasses off of the cold snow. Kotori laughed until she felt one hit her own face. The ball of snow was cold.

"You got me," she spoke, wiping all the snow away from her face. "But I got you first."

"And that will probably be the only time."

She felt a warm fabric wrapped around her neck. The light blue scarf that was on Aizen was now on her.

"What's this for?"

"You looked cold," he smiled. "I didn't want you to get sick."

"Thank you...for the scarf."

The scarf warmed up her neck, as she watched the snow cascade down from the sky.

"Do you want to go to the Winter Festival?"

"Excuse me?" She didn't quite hear him correctly and turned around to face him.

"The Winter Festival," he repeated. "Do you want to go to the festival with me?"

She blinked. The Winter Festival? What about Tokimi? She's going with someone else so it'll be fine? She stated she didn't care about him anymore.

"Yes, yes of course," she answered. What could possibly go wrong?

Aizen smiled happily at her response and gave a sigh of relief.

"I thought you were going to say no," he laughed. "But I'm glad you didn't. I have to return back to my office to finish up some paperwork. I will see you for tomorrow's lesson?"

"I'll see you then," she smiled at him.

He waved her goodbye, while Kotori stayed behind with her thoughts and watched the snow. Originally, she intended not to attend the Winter Festival. In turn, she never imagined for any of this to happen.

She had a date. A date to the Winter Festival. A date with Sōsuke Aizen.

* * *

"What's with that smile of yours, Sōsuke?"

Aizen returned to the office and instantly began working on the piles of paperwork left for him on his desk. While he was out, Hirako Shinji placed his workload on top of his. Shinji sat on the sofa, but instantly sat up when he saw a smile he had not seen before on Aizen's face.

"It's nothing, Captain Hirako," he responded, continuing to sign papers.

"That smile doesn't look like nothin'. Did something happen?"

"I simply asked someone to the Winter Festival and she said yes."

"Woah," Shinji sounded surprised. "Who would have ever thought you would ask a girl out on a date. Didn't know you had it in you."

"There's no need act surprised, Captain."

"Looks like we both have a date."

"You asked someone?"

"I did. Think you might know her," he stated as he raised himself off the sofa. "She seemed pretty sad when I saw her here."

"You're referring to Tokimi Mae if I'm not mistaken."

"Yep, that's the one. You left her pretty heart-broken, Sóuske" he said. "You're full of surprises, you know? First you ask a girl out and now, who would have ever thought you can crush a woman's dreams? A pretty one too. Such a shame but thanks to you, she's my date."

"You're the one here full of surprises, Captain Hirako," Aizen confessed. "You don't know a thing about her yet you ask her to the Winter Festival."

"Course I did! Can't let a pretty gal like that pass up!"

"A role model as always, Captain. Caring to those in need."

"Who's the girl you asked anyways? Do I know her?"

Sōsuke Aizen smiled and looked at his captain behind his dark frames.

"There's no need for you to know."

* * *

_December 1st_

"You sure bought a lot of kimonos..."

Variations of colors spread out across Kotori's bed. Pain colored to that of the richest floral ones, Tokimi bought them all and brought all twenty-three of them to the small dorm. She frantically searched through the kimonos in hopes of finding the perfect one.

"Why did you buy so many?"

"Many?! This isn't a lot! Plus I need a variety of options so I can pick the correct one!" she cried in frustration. "Now stop standing there and help me!"

"Will this one do?" Kotori lifted up a simple pink kimono decorated with flowers. "It looks nice."

"Too many flowers!"

_'Then why the hell did you buy it?'_

"Does this one look nice on me?" Tokimi asked. "Oh no, the shade's too dark for me! Help me pick! I can't look like a total disaster on my date!"

"Here, this one matches with your eyes."

Kotori handed over a light blue kimono with a yellow obi to match with it. Unlike the first kimono she chose, this one was lightly decorated with pink flowers.

"Not bad. Not bad," She examined. "I'm actually going to go with this one. Nice pick! I knew I could count on you! Now what about you?"

"It's not necessary."

"I insist!" She chimed, "Here, take this red one. It'll compliment your dark hair and skin."

"Tokimi-"

"I know, you're not going because you don't like festivals and all this other stuff," She stated. "But take it in case you do decide to go. Don't want cha left behind in the dust."

"...Thanks for the kimono."

"Ah, did you hear the news? We have a special visitor coming to class tomorrow! How exciting!"

"Who is it?"

"Did you not hear special? So that means it's a surprise and I won't tell ya!" she chimed brightly.

"Oh alright, now would you mind taking all your kimonos away because they suffocate us all?"

"Fine," she sighed, placing them back into bags. "I'll see ya tomorrow then! Good night!"

"Good night."

Kotori closed the door behind Tokimi as she struggled with the bags of kimonos. She refused help since her room was just a corner away. Before blowing out her lighted candles, she caught a quick glimpse of the scarf that sat neatly on her table. It would be best of her to return Aizen's scarf tomorrow after class. If she returned it during class, then she would be up for interrogation. Kotori laid her head on her pillow to rest and waited for morning.

* * *

"Over here, Kotori!"

Tokimi hollered for her to sit right next to her. Upon taking her seat, Kotori felt something familiar. A familiar presence.

"Class, I would like to introduce your visitor today, Captain Hirako," Aizen spoke. "He will be delighted to answer any of your questions."

Hirako Shinji entered through the doors proudly with his arms in the air. He reeked of confidence as his long blond hair swayed beside him. The crowd of students cheered for him as he made his way to the front center of the classroom. Kotori smirked. What a perfect opportunity. He can't leave the room now unexpectedly.

_'You can't escape now, Shinji.'_

She sat silently in her seat and listened to the questions her fellow students asked.

"What's the hardest part about being a captain and what do you like most about it?"

"The worst part of it all are the paperwork. Everyday there's a new batch of papers waiting to be signed!"

"I'm the one who fills out your work, Captain," Aizen interrupted.

"Shut up, Sōsuke! No one here asked for your say!" he jokingly said. "Next question..."

Kotori decided to raise her hand in hopes of him seeing her among the crowd of students. Shinji, however, was not looking for the most eager of students; he was looking to answer a question from a girl he deemed pretty. As he scanned through the group with his finger, he caught the gaze of a familiar pair of hazel eyes. He froze and realized he accidentally pointed at her.

_'Shit.'_

Shinji couldn't run away from Kotori, but he hoped that she wouldn't ask anything absurd in front of class full of students.

"...You there, with the...dark hair."

"How..." She began. "How do you-"

"Maintain your hair, Captain Hirako?" Tokimi interrupted. "I mean my hair never looks as nice as yours."

Kotori quickly turned her attention towards Tokimi with a profound expression. She interrupted her question! Tokimi, however, winked at her and whispered, "Thanks for raising your hand for me. You knew my hands were getting tired."

What on earth was Tokimi thinking? Did she not hear her start her question? Before she knew it, class was over and the students left the room. Shinji, the wild devil he was, quickly escaped before Kotori had a chance to catch up with him but she was hot on his trail. She knew she had to hurry and she followed him to an area with snow covered trees. Before Shinji could escape, Kotori grabbed him by his haori and pushed him to the ground.

"Why the fucking hell are you avoiding me, Shinji?"

"Ah, Kotori-chan, long time no see!" Avoiding the question she asked. "I didn't know you come to the academy! Did you grow out your hair? You look as ravishing as ever-"

"Quit the sweet talk! You know it won't work on me."

"What sweet talk? I'm just trying ta have a conversation with you."

"Then answer my god damn question, Shinji," she growled. "Or I'll castrate you."

"No need ta go so far, Kotori-chan," he defended. "I've been here in Seireitei. I didn't mean to leave you...I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" She grabbed him by the collar and hissed. "Sorry won't bring my mom back."

"...Your mom passed away?"

She had so much to say to him. Words floated around her head but not a single one escaped. All she could do was nod as she felt warm tears cascade down her eyes. After all this time, she realized it was not angry that filled her heart but it was the cold stroke of loneliness. She was upset at Shinji for leaving her alone. She needed someone to be with her. To love her just as her mother did before she passed.

"Kotori-"

She felt a pair of warm arms wrap around her body as she cried.

"You're not lonely anymore, Kotori. I won't let it consume you."

Loneliness, like gravity, stays with her.

* * *

**Comments**

I am terribly sorry. Last update in 2012?! School got the better of me, but now I'm free from its clutches! I will be back with more chapters this year so don't worry. I do plan to finish this until the end!

Some of you my have noticed the change in the title/summary. This is because I believe this suits the nature of the story much, much better. So please bare with me! Thank you to those that are still with me. Most importantly of all, thank you for reading!

Please review & have a fantastic summer :)


	4. Crossroads

**Chapter Four: Crossroads**

_"Right now, in your two eyes, already since a long time ago_  
_ A different person other than me_  
_ Is standing before you, smiling at you"_

_"Somebody Else" by Se7en_

* * *

"Why are you here, Shinji?" murmured Kotori.

"You seem to forgotten that _you _were the one who followed me here."

"That's not what I meant," she said pulling apart from the embrace. "This exact time, place...why are you here? Why am I here?"

"You're speaking in riddles now, Kotori. What's going on in your mind?"

She didn't quite understand it herself either. What is the reason behind their existence? Would she still be here if she hadn't met Shinji?

"Why did you leave?"

"I...wanted something better for you, but if I had known this would happen I would have never-"

"Leave?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I don't know how to explain it right now but know...I do care for you and from now on I will protect you."

To her, those words were half empty. He had spoken those same words to her before. Kotori thought about her next words; they could either mend their broken friendship or keep it as it is currently.

"I decided I'm not going to force you," she spoke, standing up. "If you're not ready to tell me then I'm not ready to listen...but just know, I'm still angry at you for leaving and I don't believe that's going to change."

"I didn't expect you to forgive me," confessed Shinji. "But I will prove to you that I left for purpose."

"Then I'll be waiting for that day," Kotori declared, handing over a hand for Shinji to get up. "What now?"

"It's best if we move forward, start anew," said Shinji. "We can't dwell on the past."

He couldn't have spoken any better words. The two needed to press on with their lives and Kotori needed to live in the present. No longer will she have to look for Shinji. The only thing she can do was wait for his reason.

Upon arriving at the academy, Kotori heard a familiar loud holler.

"There you are, Kotori!"

Tokimi Mae ran towards the two. When she arrived, she was panting in exhaustion.

"I've been searching for you all over, Kotori! You always disappear without telling me where you're going!" stated an obviously annoyed Tokimi. "Geez, next time learn to leave a note or something."

"This one's my fault," grinned Shinji. "I needed to talk to her about her horrible marks."

"C-captain Hirako! I didn't expect you until later today!"

"Later today?" asked a confused Kotori. "You two know each other?"

"Well..." began Tokimi as she wrapped her arms around one of Shinji's. "I was going to keep it a secret from everyone but I'll let you in on it. He's my date to the Winter Festival!"

Kotori stared at Tokimi with a dumbfounded expression then at Shinji. This was the guy that asked Tokimi to the festival?

"No need to be at a loss of words, Kotori! You look so surprised!" Tokimi smiled brightly at Shinji. "He's just so nice to me even after what happened! I couldn't say no to a guy like him!"

"Anyone would help out a cute crying girl like you."

"You're so kind, Captain Hirako!"

"Just call me Shinji," he grinned. "I am taking you to the Winter Festival."

After several decades of absence from her life, he's still the same flirt as before. Kotori could not help but want to slap Shinji up side the head. How can he be flirting right in front of her? Shinji moved forward pretty quickly.

"That's great to hear."_  
_

A half truth, but then again it was also a half lie.

"Are you going to the festival with anyone, Kotori?"

"No matter how hard I convince her she doesn't want to go," complained Tokimi. "I've even asked several guys for her but they all had dates already."

"That wasn't necessary, Tokimi. Besides I'm-"

"Not going, yeah, yeah. I know you well enough," she said then turning her attention to Shinji. "Oh! I saw a flyer that there's going to be a music festival on the second day of the Winter Festival! Everyone's excited for it!"

"Really? Kotori you like music! You can attend that day!" said Shinji enthusiastically.

"Actually there's only one condition," began Tokimi. "Only couples can take part. Plus, they're having a cutest couple contest that day! I believe we can win!"

"Hurry up and find someone, Kotori! Maybe you can enter that contest with someone."

"Don't worry about me! Worry about yourself and your date!"

"Wow, I've never actually seen you get angry at anyone, Kotori. Is something wrong?" Tokimi asked. "We're just trying to convince you to go."

"You two just have fun at the festival. I'll met up with you guys if I do go."

Kotori lied. There is no if. She's going to the Winter Festival with Sōsuke Aizen but no one needed to know. It would just bring her unwanted attention.

"If you say so, Kotori. We'll make sure to bring you back something!"

"That's alright. There's no need for you to do that," Kotori reassured. "Didn't you say you expected Shinji later?"

"Tokimi thought it be best if we got to know one another before the festival, so I'm taking her out to eat later today."

"We could always get a head start if you want!" winked Tokimi. "Whenever we finish our conversation."

"You two can go. I'm going back to my room to finish up some missing work."

"Alright. Just stay out of trouble, Kotori," Shinji joked, waving her a goodbye. "We'll see you later!"

"Have fun."

She thanked the heavens after finally being able to escape that conversation. Kotori found it quite awkward. Tokimi and Shinji? Together? She felt a slight tug at her heart, but Kotori chose to ignore it. It was probably nothing important. It's just the feeling of guilt?

'_It's best if we move forward.'_

These thoughts need to leave her. She needed to stop thinking about Shinji; he has already started anew and she needs to as well. Kotori shook her head and took a deep breath. It's time to live in the present. As she turned around, she accidentally bumped into someone.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"Didn't see me?" sneered Hana, facing her body towards Kotori. "Oh? Look who it is. The girl who can't even manage her own hair right. What was your name again?"

"Its Kotori."

"Does it look like I care?" she rolled her eyes. "No, I don't give a fuck about you."

"Why the sudden change in attitude? Though this one suits you much better than the one you had on a few weeks back."

"You bitch," Hana threw a punch but it was effortlessly caught.

"What's going on with you?" asked Kotori, taking a step back. She reached for her sword but grabbed nothing. Nothing but air. Today was not Kotori's day.

"Wow, pretty stupid of you to forget your sword. Then again, you are filth from Rukongai."

"That's it? You don't like me simply because I'm from Rukongai?" Kotori laughed. "I'm sorry that I wasn't born in nobility like you or have as much money as you. Where I'm from, we learned how to work for it."

"Filth like you need to learn their place in this world," said Hana, taking out a dagger from her pocket. "You need to learn not to meddle with us, not to sit with us, or to even talk to us. I still can't believe Tokimi brought you along. What was she thinking?"

"She just invited me to have tea. What's wrong with that?!"

"Because one kind gesture from us nobles will cause you to think highly of yourself, and we can't have that happening."

"Aren't you thinking highly of yourself right now?"

"That's because I'm allowed to."

Hana called over her two friends to corner Kotori. She couldn't find an escape route; her best option now was to fight the three.

"Then come at me."

"Gladly!" Hana roared, swinging the dagger towards Kotori.

Kotori barely managed to dodge the dagger, but the brown-haired girl on the right managed to punched her arm. A punch is better than having her flesh sliced open though. She mentally swore at herself. How did she end up in a fight? She did nothing reasonably wrong to Hana or these two other girls.

The blond-haired one on her left charged at her but left a wide opening. Kotori took this opportunity, blocked her attack, and punched her face. As the blond fell to the floor, Hana stepped up and swung her dagger once more. Her movements were easy to read; she was aiming at her face. Kotori positioned herself for Hana's attack but found herself falling. The brown-haired girl from earlier tripped Kotori. A cheap trick it was.

Hana's friends pinned her to the cold snowed floor. Kotori could feel her heart beat faster.

"You should look at yourself right now," spat Hana. "You look pitiful...just wait until I'm done with you. Then everyone will know that in the end you're just filth."

Mo matter how hard she struggled, the two girls did not budge. In the end, they continued to push her back to the floor and harder with each attempt. Kotori never once cried for help. She felt the chill dagger slice through her flesh on her cheeks and arms.

Her blood colored the snow with crimson.

After Hana finished with the dagger, she pocketed it. The blond-haired one spoke first.

"D-don't you think this is enough, Hana?"

"There's never enough," she formed her hands into fists. "I'm going to add the finishing touches with my hands."

Kotori mostly remembered Hana's knuckles flashing before her very eyes; how hard each blow felt as it came in contact with her face and body. The sound of her ribs snapping caused her to spew blood out from her mouth. It was disgusting, the taste of iron.

"Next time learn to pour us tea instead of pretending to be one of us. Do us a favor by laying here. Have fun dying. No one will miss you," hissed Hana, rising and cleaning her hands off. "Let's go before anyone comes."

The three girls hurried off in fear of bring caught. Kotori heard them. Heard the rush of their feet in the snow. She relied on her sense of hearing since her vision blurred due to the punches inflicted upon her face. Her body ached in insufferable pain; her breathing came short due to her broken ribs. She laid there on the floor soaked with her blood, unable to move.

_'Am I going to die here?'_

Her eyes drew to a close.

* * *

"What do you feel like eating?"

"Hm, I don't know. Let's go look around first," said Tokimi, walking around the shops with Shinji. "Say, if you don't mind me asking. How do you know Kotori? I mean, we're friends but she hasn't told me anything about her past."

"Ah, we go way back to the good ol' days. When I first met her, she was the shyest person I've ever met, but she learned to open up," Shinji laughed. "It doesn't look like it now but she has a kind heart. So just wait a little while before she opens up to you."

"She doesn't talk much about her feelings. She doesn't even participate in class."

"Oh? What class?"

"It's Aizen-sama's class! You were just in there this morning!"

"That's right. Can't believe Sōsuke's teaching a class."

"Here! Let's eat here, Shinji-kun!"

"A noodle shop? That's fine by me."

The two ordered their bowls and waited. Shinji took a glance at Tokimi. He never really noticed her radiant blue eyes; they looked like crystals. She had a petite light-colored face. Her strawberry-blond hair wrapped into neat curls that bounced when she moved. She looked like a pretty princess. Then again, her family is of nobility.

He then found himself comparing Tokimi to Kotori. They were polar opposites in both appearance and personality. Tokimi always had a smile to her face that matched her out-going persona, while Kotori is more reserved. Shinji sighed. Maybe if hadn't left, Kotori would also be more out-going. He laughed. That would never happen.

"Here are your orders," the waitress smiled at the two. "If you don't mind me saying, you two make a really cute couple."

"Actually we're just-"

"Thanks!" said Tokimi.

The waitress left the table when she saw another couple come in. Tokimi turned to Shinji with a bright smile on her face.

"Are you ready to win that contest?"

"We're actually participating?"

"Of course! I can't pass up on entering a couple's contest! With a captain like you nonetheless! I think we actually have a good chance at winning."

'_This_ _girl is starting to get a bit too clingy...'_

Despite this thought, he smiled at the girl on front of him. He had never been on a date before. He figured his first would be with Kotori out of all the girls. But this one wasn't bad. He's moving forward with a pretty girl at that. Breaking his chopsticks, he began picking up the noodles.

Just then, Shinji felt something. He felt it disappearing. But what was it?

"Is something wrong, Shinji-kun?"

"Sorry to cut this dinner short but I have to get going," said Shinji, getting up from his seat. "Here's the money. I'm sorry, we'll just have to do this again a different day."

"Shinji!"

But it was too late. He left before he could hear Tokimi yell. All that mattered to him now is to find whatever that is disappearing. Hopefully he can find it soon.

* * *

She stirred in the bed.

However, once she felt agonizing pain from her body she stopped. Slowly opening her eyes, she realized they were still lightly blurred. Great, her vision has yet to return but figured it'll be back in a few days max. For now though, she has to rely on her other senses. Then she remembered.

_'I'm alive?'_

Hana didn't leave her with a tiny scratch; she wanted Kotori dead.

_'Heh, she got me pretty good.'_

Kotori frowned. She was unable to defend herself. Then again the odds were one to three. However, that didn't matter to her. At least she's alive and moving because that means she can get Hana back. The other two girls did not matter; they were merely helping out their leader.

The corners of her mouth curved into a devious smile. Oh, how would it feel for her blade to go into Hana's back. The satisfaction she would feel from doing so. Hana better watch herself.

She felt the bandages on her body and the few on her face. Kotori figured she was in the Fourth Division's infirmary. Feeling a presence to the left of her, she turned her head but couldn't make out who he was. It wasn't a she based on the body structure. Just then, another presence entered the room.

"Ah, I'm glad you're awake," she said with a soft voice. "How are you feeling?"

"I've felt better."

"You're a lucky one," spoke the woman, walking towards Kotori to examine her injuries. "You have two broken ribs and several gashes around your body. Don't worry though, you're not in critical condition anymore. I've healed most of it. For now, I need you to rest for a few days. I can't have you up for too long like that."

"Thank you," said Kotori. She could barely make out the nurse except for her short silver-colored hair.

"Who did this to you?"

"I don't remember," lied Kotori. "It...was sudden."

"If you remember please tell an official. We can't have someone like that roam around the academy."

"I will and thank you again."

"If you should be thanking anyone, it's him," she smiled kindly, pointing at the figure sitting in the chair. "If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be here. He came in here with your unconscious body. He hasn't left your side since. Now rest, I will be back tomorrow."

The silver-haired nurse left the room and silently closed the door behind her. Kotori laid in the bed trying to figure out who the person sleeping in the chair was. Damn her vision. If it would hurry up and heal. She then used every ounce of energy in her body to simply raise herself from the bed. Her bare feet touched the cold, solid surface. Walking never felt so painful.

_'Shit.'_

Kotori mentally cursed to herself when she felt a flesh wound reopen. That can be fixed later. She stood silently in front of her savior. He was sleeping soundlessly; he looked serene from what Kotori could make out.

"Thank you," whispered Kotori.

Her long elegant fingers lightly touched his face.

"Thank you for saving me...Aizen Sōsuke."

* * *

**Comments**

Special thanks to endeavor for reviewing!

Hope you guys are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it! Sorry that this chapter is much shorter than the last one, but I'll be back soon with the next installment.

Are ready guys ready for the Winter Festival?! I definitely am. Who are you guys rooting for?

Please review & have a splendid week :)


	5. Crossroads ll

**Chapter Five: Crossroads ll**

_"__A falling star  
Least I fall alone.  
I can't explain what you can't explain.  
You're finding things that you didn't know  
I look at you with such disdain"_

_"It Ends Tonight" by The All-American Rejects_

* * *

Aizen Sōsuke left the academy building that afternoon with graded papers in hand. Last week he assigned his students a simple task: writing their name. However, it took him a few seconds of staring at all their papers to realize that no, this was not a simple task, and that his students all have maladroit handwriting. It was clear their writing were devoid of proper technique and form. Their next lesson, he decided, will be the basics.

"Good afternoon, lieutenant Aizen!"

"Afternoon, sir!"

The lieutenant acknowledged the students by nodding as they passed by. They hold the utmost respect for their superior. Despite being a lieutenant, Aizen Sōsuke devotes part of his time teaching at the academy and helping students. He has shown the students not a single ounce of doubt that he deserves the position he holds. Truthfully, the students wanted nothing more than to earn his approval; they wanted his respect and to have his strength. That will be a long time to come, however, so the best thing for them to do now is study and receive high marks.

Aizen continued his way back to the barracks. He felt a cold crisp breeze travel to his body; he tightened the wool scarf around his neck and enjoyed the warmth it gave off. It was manifest that the winter-season had barely began. He silently keep staring at the snow, and then a split second later, he felt someone's reiryoku vanishing. A reiryoku he found himself familiar with.

"Hurry up! Before we get caught!"

"Don't you think I know that?!"

He heard voices up ahead and made no initial movement to hide his cunning smile. This latest revelation slightly intrigued him.

Running in the snow proved of some difficulty to the three girls—their feet would occasionally sink into the fresh snow. Hana paused abruptly causing the other two girls to bump into her.

"Ow! Why'd you stop in the middle of running, Hana?!" cried the blond-haired girl, rubbing her nose. "Hana?"

When she looked at Hana, she found her sweating in fear. She turned her attention at the person in front of them—it was lieutenant Aizen. But why was Hana afraid? Surely the lieutenant wouldn't suspect them of anything.

"Lieutenant Aizen!" the blond, Aimi, proceeded without caution. "What brings you here?"

"Shut up, Aimi!" Hana cursed.

"What do you mean? It's just lieutenant Aizen."

"Yeah, Hana," the dark-haired one, Emiko, agreed. "Sorry, we were just lost and we're trying to find our way back to the academy."

"Are you lost too, Aizen-sama?" asked Aimi.

"Actually, I was on my way back to the barracks until I came across you three. Now my question here is," said Aizen after a pause, "...what did you three do to Sachi Kotori?"

The three girls stood in silence; they were unable to move and their breaths stopped short. Hana reluctantly spoke first.

"W-what do you mean, Aizen-sama? "

"There are traces of blood on your right arm," he pointed out. "Your efforts in trying to clean off the blood were futile."

"We weren't even near Kotori! That's animal blood on her!" Emiko declared harshly. "Now of you don't mind, stop making false accusations."

"False accusations?" Aizen mused. "Hana?"

"I...we...we," Hana paused. The deed was done—he wouldn't do anything to them right? She spoke again, this time with confidence. "We killed her, Aizen-sama!"

"Hana! Why did you tell him?!"

"Why on earth? Why didn't you just lie to him?!"

"She didn't lie because she knows where her loyalties lie," said Aizen, walking towards the girls. "However, I do believe I asked you to keep a watch on Sachi Kotori—not kill her."

"Forgive me! I just...couldn't stand a girl like her. I—"

Hana felt her body undergo excruciating pain when Aizen slashed her with his sword. She heard her friends shriek besides her—their body had also been slashed. When she fell to the floor, Hana watched as her friends cry for help. Their efforts proved futile though when a sword went through their skull. In a matter of seconds her friends, once breathing and alive, died by her side. The snow turned a dark shade of red from their blood. Hana made fists in anger.

"Dispose of them, Kaname."

The dark-skinned man nodded and pulled his sword from Aimi's skull.

"Why..." cried Hana. "Why did you do this?! We have done nothing wrong! So...so what if we killed Kotori! You would have killed her later!"

"You have went against my orders," Aizen said, sheathing his sword. "I cannot have that happen again."

"S-so you kill us?! My friends...they weren't even...involved."

"But they followed your every movement—followed your orders," he said frigidly. "It is because of you that your friends are dead. Their blood is on your hands because they followed you blindly."

"How...how dare you! I have done nothing but serve you!"

"Do you not believe you are replaceable?"

"...What do you mean?"

"You are merely a small pawn—one that is capable off being easily replaced by another," he stated, staring at Hana expressionlessly. "To put, you are of no worth to me; your existence is small. There will be others in time. Your time-serving me, however, is done."

"I-"

A sword went through Hana's cranium. Kaname released his sword and cleaned it of the spilled blood.

"I will clean this mess, Aizen-sama," he spoke, turning to the lieutenant. "Will you be going to Sachi Kotori?"

"Yes," Aizen replied, following the imprints in the snow. "Tell Gin of this revelation."

"Of course, Aizen-sama."

The brown-haired lieutenant continued to follow the marks in the snow. Soon he found himself in front of Kotori's unconscious body. Aizen mused to himself when he saw how much blood Kotori lost. It looked as if she was on top of a crimson carpet. He kneeled down to closely examine her face; there were copious cuts and bruises to her face. One gash in particular caught his attention: the one that run across her stomach. He ran his index finger dangerously close to her gash with mild amusement.

"I can't have the you die on me now," he said impassively, picking up Kotori's unconscious body. "My experiment has yet to even start."

Aizen felt a reiatsu fast approaching their direction—it was his captain's. Deciding it would be best to leave before Shinji arrives, he left for the Fourth Division. Upon arriving at the steps of Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho, nurses in pink uniforms rushed out the door when they felt an impaired reiryoku.

"Lieutenant Aizen!"

"Can you please take care of her?" he asked with a concern face. "I found her out in the snow badly injured. She has already lost a severe amount of blood."

"Of course!" replied two nurses, taking out a stretcher. "Please, lieutenant, carefully place her here."

Aizen placed Kotori's unconscious body on top of the stretcher and watched as the two nurses bring her inside.

"Lieutenant, you can come inside and clean yourself of her blood," one nurse said. "There's a lot on your arms."

He agreed and followed the nurse to the wash room. There he turned on the faucet for the cold water and cleansed his arms of any blood. After drying his arms, Aizen returned to the front and waited for Kotori's treatment to finish. He figured with Shinji out searching, there would be nothing for him to do when he returned to the office. Aizen pulled out a single sheet of paper and began writing.

The note only took him five minutes to write. Aizen Sōsuke had been waiting for over three hours. Occasionally, he would ask a nurse how the treatment was going only to find himself being scolded. She is badly injured, they would tell him, and that the procedure will take time. Aizen sat back down in his chair, and for lack of better words, he was growing bored—bored of waiting and sitting. However, he never let it show on his face. On the exterior, he wore a concerned, worried expression. Aizen Sōsuke enjoyed putting on a show.

"Lieutenant Aizen?" called a nurse with short silver hair.

"Yes?"

"She's stable now. You can come with me."

Surprisingly enough, the journey to her room was not far. The nurse opened the door for him to enter and she followed right after. Aizen walked towards the bed that contained Kotori's stable body. Bandages encased her torso and much to his amusement...she looked clean. Compared to when he last saw her, there was not a single ounce of blood on her body.

"She suffered from two broken ribs and several gashes," the nurse explained, pointing to Kotori's stomach. "There was a large tear here that ran through her torso, but I managed to heal it. She's lucky, you know."

"Lucky to be saved from death."

"Lucky to be saved by you, lieutenant Aizen."

"Nonsense," said Aizen. "Anyone who would have crossed paths with her would bring her here."

"Yes, but none would have been as worried as you," she replied with her soft-spoken voice, "or have stayed as long as you. You're kind, lieutenant. I'm sure when she wakes up, she will be thankful of you."

The lieutenant smiled at her comment.

"How long will it be until she fully recovers?"

"I say about five days max for everything to heal."

"Thank you," Aizen bowed to the nurse.

"You can stay here as long as you like, lieutenant Aizen. When she wakes up, make sure she doesn't reopen any wounds. Please call me if anything happens."

"Of course," he smiled, watching the nurse leave the room.

As soon as she left, his smile faltered from his face. Aizen walked over to Kotori's sleeping form and observed her. Her breathing was steady, however, her face looked as if she's in pain. His eyes wandered towards her bandaged torso—at the wound that was there three hours ago. He remembered gently running his finger along side the bloody gash—the feel of her skin in contact with his. The lieutenant closed his eyes, departed from her bed, and sat on the chair behind him. He let off a long breath and reopened his eyes—he needed to rest. All of that waiting must have made him hallucinate.

He shut his eyes and waited for morning. Nearly two hours later, Aizen heard someone enter the room, but he keep his eyes closed.

"Ah, I'm glad you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"I've felt better."

The voice belonged to the silver-haired nurse. She was talking to an awake Kotori. He listened in on their conversation and found it interesting when Kotori said she didn't remember who attacked her. Her tone of voice allowed Aizen to understand she was lying to the nurse—but why? Did she want to spare their lives? A bit late for that.

"...If it weren't for him, you wouldn't be here. He came in here with your unconscious body. He hasn't left your side since. Now rest, I will be back tomorrow."

He heard the nurse close the door behind her. Aizen was about to go back to sleep until he heard a discord towards Kotori's bed. Was she trying to get out of her bed? Basing on the sound of her footsteps, she was having trouble walking because it would not take a healthy person as long to walk to him. After a few seconds, he felt Kotori's presence in front of him. With his eyes closed, he pretended was asleep.

"Thank you."

Did she thank him? Her words were barely audible even to him. Moments later, he felt her fingers touch his left cheek. Her touch was warm and soothing.

"Thank you for saving me...Aizen Sōsuke."

Even though Kotori had retracted her hand, the warmth from her touch lingered. He heard her struggle back to her bed. Part of him felt like helping her and the inquiry of whether or not she did rose in his throat. However, that was a very small part of him and the inquiry died. If Kotori were to turn around now with her impaired vision, she wouldn't have noticed Aizen's soft brown eyes staring directly at her.

* * *

_December 3rd_

She sniffed the air...why did it smell like tofu soup?

Truthfully, Kotori did not want to open her eyes; she found comfort in the bed she rested on—the bandages surprisingly kept her warm by trapping her body heat. She mentally laughed to herself. Bandages—wait why did she have them again? Kotori furrowed her brows as she pondered to herself. Didn't she already have this conversation with herself last night? Then it all clicked to her.

She opened her eyes and observed her surroundings—this time with her vision slightly better. White walls enclosed the room with two large windows by her bed. She figured it would be best for her not to move her body since she reopened a wound so she depended on her eyesight. Only one thing was on her mind and there, resting on the table, was the bowl of tofu soup she smelled. A boon for her appetite.

Her stomach growled. She wanted to eat, but the bowl was too far.

The door opened and walked in Aizen with a spoon in hand. Of course the bowl of tofu belonged to him.

"Ah, you're finally awake I see," said the brown-haired lieutenant, walking towards his dinner. "How are you feeling?"

"...Fine," she responded, watching him eat a soy cube.

"Just fine?"

"Apart from having two of my ribs broken and a large wound running down my torso, I'm pretty much fine."

"You say that so casually," he mused to himself, taking another bite of tofu. "Those injuries would have killed you."

"Thank you...for saving me."

"There's no need to thank me."

"But there is. If it weren't for you, I'd still be on the ground where you found me—dead and perhaps even frozen," she laughed. "You found me...and saved me from death."

"Are you afraid of death?"

"There's a demise to everything...but to answer your question, yes. I am afraid of death. But now is not the time to fear death—only time will tell."

"You're right," he spoke. "...Now is not the time to fear death."

"Did the nurse say when my wounds will heal?"

"Roughly around four days."

"Four days?" said Kotori after a sigh. "I don't know what I'm going to do for the rest of today."

He turned his attention over to her. "The rest of today?"

"The sun barely peaked from the horizon. It's sunrise."

"Actually, that's the sun setting down."

"...Oh," she mentally slapped herself. How could she have slept for over twelve hours?

"If you're worried about your academy work there is no need," he spoke, laying down a stack of papers on the table next to his bowl. "I took the liberty of picking up all your assignments so you can work on them here when you have enough energy to move your arms."

"That...that...is so kind of you," Kotori said, restraining a sarcastic tone. "You didn't have to."

Aizen didn't respond to her comment; he continued to drink from his bowl. Kotori had no idea if he knew she was staring at that bowl ever since she woke up. The injured would also like to eat. She heard the door open with a slight expectation of a nurse bringing her food. But it was not. A boy wearing Shinigami clothing walked into the room. Despite his silver hair covering parts of his face, Kotori noticed his narrowed eyes—making him look like a fox. He bore a mocking grin on his face which intimidated most that came in contact with him. However, Kotori did not bother fully analyzing the boy—her attention was on the dried persimmons in his arms.

"Gin, what are you doing here?"

Gin? Strangely enough the name suited him.

"I was growing bored waiting around and doing nothing," he replied, grinning largely at his superior. "So I decided to drop by."

He glanced over at Kotori and turned his attention back to Aizen.

"What is she? A mummy?"

Kotori felt her eye twitch. Two can play this game.

"What are you? A fox?"

"Looks like the mummy can speak," he grinned, taking a bite out of one of the persimmons. "I prefer a snake."

"Not to crush your dreams, but you look more like a fox," retorted Kotori.

"At least I'm not wrapped around in bandages."

"That's enough, Gin," Aizen spoke, raising himself from his seat. "I will be back soon after I deliver these papers to the front. Don't do anything irrational."

The boy only grinned at his superior. Kotori heard the door shut enclosing her with the little devil. After glancing surreptitiously over at the silver-haired boy, she was quite surprised seeing him wear Shinigami attire. This meant this boy could easily over power her...even though she was clearly the older of the two. Despite his comical remarks, she found conversing with him natural. Her attention shifted towards the bowl on the table.

"Hey Foxy-kun," she beckoned. "Want to do me a favor?"

"Foxy-kun? There must have been some damage done to your brain."

"The damage can wait. My hunger, however, cannot."

"You're hungry?" the young fox inquired. "Too bad there's no one here willing to help ya out with your problem."

"You're here," she smiled with a glimmer of hope in her eyes. "You can help me out. Aizen-san doesn't even have to know about this. He probably won't even mind one...or two...or five of his tofu missing."

"You're serious about this, aren't ya?"

"Of course I am! Does my face not read serious?"

"It looks desperate."

Kotori glared at the boy.

"One can't help but feel desperate in the face of hunger," said Kotori. "Without food, we would all be starving."

"A food lecture? My, my, you really aren't the type of person that socializes much are ya?"

"Oh no, as a matter of fact, I believe I socialize too much. I wouldn't have gotten these wounds if it weren't for meeting new people," she joked sarcastically. "But I guess some things never change."

"Ya know, you talk to much for a mummy."

"And you're a little too observant for a kid...then again, you are a genius aren't you?"

"So ya noticed. Here I thought you're just a weird girl."

"Looks are deceiving, Foxy-kun. You would know."

He grinned at her. "But your hunger isn't. You've been eyeing that bowl for some time now."

"Huh," said Kotori, glancing over at the grinning boy. "At least you seem to have noticed...I sometimes wonder if he needs a new pair of glasses."

The silver-haired boy picked up a cube of tofu.

"Would you like one?" asked Gin, waving it in front of her. He then put it in his mouth. "Just kidding."

"You're going to regret eating that in front of my face."

"You misunderstood the part where you're in a position where you can't move," he spoke mockingly, putting another soy cube in his mouth, "...but I can."

"What are you doing, Gin?"

Aizen walked into the room with mild amusement—catching the young third seat eating _his_ tofu dinner. Gin loved causing mischief.

"Nothin'...I'm just teasing her."

"With food?"

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "She's hungry."

"Is that why you've been staring at my bowl, Kotori-san?"

She looked at him with a befuddled expression—so has noticed her looking at his bowl.

"If you want, we'll call over a nurse to bring you something to eat when we leave," smiled Aizen. "Would that be fine?"

"That's more than fine."

"Let's go, Gin."

Before the silver-haired boy left with Aizen, he placed one of his persimmons beside her pillow. He grinned and whispered in a mocking tone, "Don't die, mummy."

* * *

_December 5th **  
**_

_Darkness surrounded her._

_'You're weak.'_

_She could not comprehend him; it's if her hearing failed on her when he spoke. Kotori remembered him from yesterday. The shadowed figure stood in front of her bearing a cunning smile with his teeth. He wore a dark black cloth around his body that also covered the top half of his face. His very presence crushed her; he intimidated her. Despite his grim appearance, she walked towards him. The floor felt slippery and sticky. Upon closer inspection, Kotori noticed that she was stepping on blood._

_"Who are you?" she inquired._

_The cloaked man stared at her with disdain._

_'Call my name.'_

_"I can't hear you!" _

_The blood from the floor wrapped itself around her arms and pulled her to the ground._

_'Call my name...'_

Kotori woke up quickly only to have a wave of nausea pass over; she closed her eyes to relieve herself of the pain. As she wiped the sweat from her forehead, she realized her hands were shaking in fear. The dream ended similarly to yesterday's with the blood consuming her entire body. If anything the dream will be her demise if it continues. But who was he? What did he say? Just then the door opened and the silver-haired nurse walked inside with a tray of food.

"Good morning," she smiled, setting the tray down on the table and opening the curtains. "I brought over some food figuring you might be hungry."

"Thank you...um, I'm sorry. I never got your name."

"Isane Kotetsu, but you can just call me Isane," she politely spoke. "Before you eat, I have to check on your wounds...Sachi-san, please lie down!"

"Excuse me?"

"I need you to lie down quickly," she said in a rush. "Your bandages are drenched in blood. I believe a wound has reopened."

Kotori did as she told her. However, she looked at Isane with a puzzled expression since she felt fine; her body no longer ached in pain. She watched as the nurse unravel the soaked bandages. The expression on Isane's face made Kotori sit up to look at her torso. There were no open wounds—her body was completely healed. She couldn't help but frown at the scar the dagger left as it was a memento of how she was unable to protect herself.

"That...that's weird."

"What's the matter?"

"Your bandages are completely soaked with blood but...there's not a single wound left on your body."

"Not a single wound...wait, does this mean I'm good to go?"

"Yes, but I'd like for you to stay one more day."

Kotori suppressed an annoyed expression but nodded at the nurse. Isane smiled at her as she left the room with her blood drenched bandages. Kotori lied back down on the bed, snuggling under the covers when she felt the chilly air from outside. She wondered how Shinji was doing; she hadn't seen him for a few days. Maybe he's worried—nah, he has Tokimi to keep him company. Aizen's probably sitting in his office filling out paperwork that Shinji neglected to complete. Kotori laughed to herself under the covers, and after a few seconds, she remembered her own that needed completion.

Kicking the covers past her body, she sat up and walked over to the table in defeat. There was no way, she told herself, that she'll be behind in any of her classes: swordsmanship basics, kidō, and even calligraphy. Glancing over at the food, Kotori found no reason not work and eat at the same time. She picked up some rice with her chopstick from her right hand and grabbed the first paper on top of the stack.

She read a sentence from the paper.

"...the Zanpakutō is a reflection of a shinigami's power and soul."

She stared at the paper deliberately and asked herself if that man was her Zanpakutō trying to speak to her. That perhaps he was a reflection of herself. Kotori shook her head in frustration because there was no way she could ever reek of darkness like him. He was the manifestation of evil—Kotori, on the other hand, was afraid of him. How could she be frightened of her own soul?

No more questions. She had to finish her work.

* * *

_December 6th_

After thanking Isane for taking care of her for the last couple of days, Kotori walked out of Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho. She breathed the frosty air outside—no longer did she have to stay inside that small white room. It's best if she dropped off the stack of papers in her room first before enjoying her freedom. When she returned to her room, she found her door unlocked and slightly opened. With prudence, she walked inside.

"Kotori?"

"Oh no..."

"Kotori!" gasped a familiar voice, running up to her with a hug. "Kotori! I can't believe you're here right now! Where have you been?! We have been looking for you!"

"We?"

"Tokimi-chan and I," replied Shinji from her desk, flipping through a book. "We thought you went missin' like the other girls."

"Wait. What other girls?"

"You haven't heard what happened?" Tokimi gasped.

"No, I haven't been to class for the past few days so I don't know the news."

"...Hana, Aimi, and Emiko are missing," she began to cry. "You went missing the same day so I thought you were with them...Shinji-kun even went looking for you. But...but since you weren't with them...I...guess the rumors are true. They're dead! I can't believe it!"

Shinji comforted Tokimi by wrapping his arms around her body. Her tears began to soak his captain's haori as she rested her head on his shoulder. On the other side of the room, Kotori was staring at the two expressionlessly. However, she was not focused on the two—she was surprised to hear that the very three girls who attacked her were dead. Kotori felt no sympathy for the girls—why would she? They left her out to die and never bothered to ask if what they did was a mistake. A smirk crept its way to the corners of Kotori's mouth. Karma was truly a bitch.

"Why...why do you look like that, Kotori?!" Tokimi screamed in anger, pushing Shinji aside. "Answer me! Why do you have that satisfied smirk on your face?! Why does it look like you don't care?! They were your friends too!"

"My friends?" Kotori could not help but laugh at such a ridiculous comment. "Let's get this straight—they are _your_ friends."

"How could you say that?!" she hollered, walking towards Kotori with a disgusted face. "Of course they were your friends! We even went to have tea with them! They enjoyed your company...but I guess a stubborn girl like you can't understand friends even when they're right in front of you."

"Then I guess I could care less about those_ friends_ of mine."

Tokimi slapped Kotori's face as hard as she could, leaving a red mark on her face.

"You...you're cruel. There's...there's nothing in your heart but darkness!" Tokimi spat. "That's why I became friends with you—I wanted to relieve you of that horrible personality of yours. You can't even trust people who are close to you. We've been friends for a while now and yet you refuse to trust me! And how could you even say that about them?! Huh?! Where were you even that night?! Maybe it was you who killed them!"

"Calm down, Tokimi-chan. You're upset—don't allow your emotions to get the better of you," interjected Shinji, stepping in between the two. "Kotori, where have you been?"

"In Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho," she replied, watching Tokimi prudently, "...having my wounds healed."

"Why did you have wounds?"

"I'll you why!" interrupted Tokimi. "Because-"

Shinji placed his hand in front of Tokimi's face, and after a split second, he caught her unconscious body. He set her down on the bed and returned to Kotori to finish their conversation.

"Now it's just you and me."

"It should have been that way since the beginning," Kotori replied frigidly. "Why were you two ransacking my room?"

"Tokimi wanted to see if there was anything in here that could help look for you. We were both worried."

"There's no reason for you two to worry, and why the hell would searching through my things help you out?"

"Look at me, Kotori," said Shinji, ignoring her question. "Did you kill those three girls?"

"Are you serious? Do you really think I killed them? Shinji, you-"

"Answer my question, Kotori!"

"No! I didn't kill them!" she exploded with frustration. She turned way towards the door but Shinji caught her arm.

"Where are you going?"

"Away. Away from you and especially her," she nodded over to her bed. "She's getting out of control—I don't want to be in the same room as her since she's suspecting me of killing her friends. Now let go of my arm."

"I'm not letting go until you answer my questions," he spoke sternly. "Who put you in Sōgō Kyūgo Tsumesho?"

"I don't remember."

"Stop lying to me!" he yelled. "I went searching for you. I felt your Reiryoku fading that night, but I couldn't find you."

"Then that's your problem now isn't it Shinji?"

"Why are you acting so cold, Kotori?"

"Maybe it's because I'm having fingers pointed at me for something I didn't do," she explained, narrowing her eyes at Shinji.

"What happened that night when the three girls disappeared?"

"Like I said, I don't remember!"

"...Was it Aizen?" he finally said.

"What are you saying? Why would your own lieutenant do such an act?"

"I felt bits of his reiatsu there. He must've done somethin' to the girls and you."

"There are plenty of reasons why it could be there," she responded.

"Quit fucking around, Kotori!"

"You want to know the truth, Shinji? It was _your_ lieutenant who saved me that night. Those three girls Tokimi was crying about? Well guess what—they were the ones who gave me the wounds," she sneered with utter disgust. "There's the truth you've been waiting for!"

"...Why didn't you just tell me this in the beginning?"

"Because maybe I wasn't ready to tell you just like how you weren't ready to tell me," she angrily snapped, pulling her arm free from his grasp. "Don't look at me like that, Shinji—don't look at me with regret. Once in a while, how about _you_ have some faith in me?"

She walked out the door.

Kotori walked around aimlessly for the rest of the day. She didn't want to do anything or speak to anyone for the fact of the matter. She came across a small bridge that suspended itself above a pond.

She looked at her reflection in the pond—a doleful expression replaced her once excited one. And to believe Tokimi dared to claim those three were _her_ friends; the very girls that inflicted pain into her body. Was Tokimi a fool? Clearly she was the one who doesn't understand the concept of friends. Both Tokimi and Shinji called her cold. A frown found its way to Kotori's face as she continued staring at herself in the water.

Maybe the person looking back at her was a reflection of who she really was inside—a frigid, dark individual identical to that of the figure in her dreams.

_'Nah'_, she thought to herself. _'Not as cold as him.'_

* * *

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	6. Masked

**Chapter Six: Masked  
**

_"Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving  
All the pain held in your  
Hands are shaking cold  
Your hands are mine to hold"_

_"Move Along" by The American Rejects_

* * *

_December 11th_

Four days passed without a word from Shinji and Kotori had not bothered much in searching for him. To put frankly, she had grown tired of playing hide-and-seek with the impossible to find captain. The day after their little talk, she had sworn to herself never to search for Shinji again; it was clear he didn't want her to find him so she did him a favor and kept away until it was his turn to search for her. Kotori had sat in her seat in the back row for over thirty minutes now, with her mind occasionally drifting off into sleep and students surreptitiously glancing over at her. She wished for class to end so she could return to her comfortable bed—where she would be away from the eyes of her classmates.

There was a bit of chatter two rows in front of her. Two girls were whispering to one another, and though most of the students can evidently hear them, they continued oblivious of the attention they had collected.

"Hey, have you heard?"

A girl wearing a pink ribbon glanced at Kotori. "If it's about her then yeah. I heard she and Tokimi aren't friends anymore."

"I guess it's true—I mean, look at them. Tokimi's been giving Kotori a fierce look ever since Tuesday," the other girl said. "Kotori looks the same...something must have happened between them, and my bet is that Kotori's at fault."

"I heard she was emitted in Sōgo Kyūgo Tsumesho—that's why she wasn't in class all last week."

"No way! Then again, something like that isn't really surprising. She looks like a troubled girl."

They snickered amongst each other.

"Troubled? Ha! More like scary."

Kotori, with all her will power, contained herself to her seat; she could not allow herself to do something idiotic such as punching the two girls in their face. That would be unmoral of her to do so, not to mention scary and troublesome.

"Hey, you know what I noticed?" said the girl with the ribbon.

"What?"

"She was gone the same day as Hana."

Her friend let out a gasp. "You don't think that she had something to do with them? If she did, wow. One person against three...I don't want mess with her."

"Me neither. But something must have happened...maybe it was her...her that killed them."

"Kill?! Don't you think you're over exaggerating?"

"No, think about it. The reason Tokimi's upset and angry at her...is probably because Kotori did something to Hana and them. Shoot, I would be mad as hell if she killed my friends."

They stole a look at Tokimi. "I feel bad for her—to be betrayed by one of your closest friends."

"Especially from one that killed your other friends."

"She's a m—"

"Do you two mind sharing what your conversation is about?" said Aizen, smiling from the front of the classroom. "It seems much more important than my lesson."

They lowered their heads. "S-sorry, Aizen-sensei."

Class ended at noon and there was mass exodus of students when they realized it was time for lunch. They bid farewell to Aizen, disappointed to not see their teacher at all next week. Aizen watched his students leave and picked up his lunch. He noticed someone silently sitting by herself, taking a closer look at the back row, he was not surprised that it was Kotori. He walked over to her seat, but she did not react to his presence.

"Mind if I have lunch with you?"

No response. Aizen pulled a chair from the desk behind him, sitting down on the seat and watching her movements. She had on a small frown as she picked up her rice, only to let it drop back into her container.

"You shouldn't play with your food, Kotori-san."

She looked up from her lunch, surprised to see someone in front of her. "Aizen-san! I'm sorry, I didn't see you...how long have you been there?"

"Not long," said Aizen, opening his lunch. "Though, long enough to understand something is on your mind. Is something wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," replied Kotori. "Just thinking."

"You're thinking quite a lot these days."

"Oh?" said Kotori with a tint of amusement. She enjoyed their conversations, especially when she tries deceiving him, but he always saw right through her. "What makes you say that?"

"Normally, you have lunch outside with Mae-san," he explained. "You two also sit together in class—that is, before you move to the back in the middle of class. However, this past Tuesday and today, you two didn't speak to one another. My guess is something's wrong between the two of you; that's why you isolated yourself from her...and now, you're contemplating about your relationship with her."

"Nice job," clapped Kotori. She smiled at his analysis, though she had actually been thinking about Shinji, she decided to give this one to Aizen. He can believe what he wants—there was no reason to correct him; it was best if he didn't know of her relation with Shinji.

"If you don't mind me asking, what happened between you two?"

Kotori picked up a piece of fish and placed it inside her mouth before responding. "Let's just say we're not on good terms as of now—she thinks I'm a horrible friend."

"Friend? I thought you didn't believe in such a concept."

"I don't, but she does," said Kotori. "It's as if her whole world is revolved around friends and relationships—and of course money, but that's not the case right now. Tokimi loves attention, whether it's good or bad because in the end, she's the victim in it all. Plus, she's always with someone as if..."

Aizen looked at Kotori's contemplating expression. "As if what?"

"As if it's something she has to do," voiced Kotori, placing a finger on her chin. "That way she will always have someone to believe her—sympathize with her."

"You're making this seem as if you're the culprit in this dilemma."

"What if I am?" she smiled cunningly. "What will you do about it?"

"Nothing," he responded, watching Kotori raise an eyebrow. "Because I know you didn't do anything to those three girls."

Kotori was surprised to hear those words come put of him, but after some thought, realized he was the one who found her beaten almost to a bloody death. If anyone saw her that night, they too would believe she did no wrong.

"You don't need to be so kind to me, Aizen-san."

This time, it was him who raised an eyebrow. "Is that the impression you have of me? A person who believes in such ridiculous rumors? You're not the type of person to go off and start a fight—or kill anyone at that."

"You say that with such confidence, but there is always a possibility of you being incorrect," expostulated Kotori. "Maybe it was I who initiated the fight."

"Are you implying that you were in a fray with those girls?"

"Maybe," she said without much emotion.

Aizen could not help but chuckle at her claim. "Indulge me. Explain how it was that I found you that night and not them."

"Simple. I provoked them thinking I could beat them, but sadly in the end, it was I who ended up beaten."

"In other words, you overestimated your opponents and your ability to defeat them," sighed Aizen. "That's disappointing to hear. I thought I taught you better."

"You taught me kidō."

"I also taught you the basics on battle."

"True," she willingly admitted after some thought. "But in the end, I lost to my inability to analyze my surroundings—or people in this case."

"Have you ever thought to consider that perhaps it was you who won?"

"That seems far-fetched."

Aizen sipped his tea before replying. "You're here—alive if I may add. Those three girls are presumed dead. If you were to have enough strength to follow them then you could have died as well that night."

"Again, that seems far-fetched even for me."

He smiled at the oblivious girl in front of him because only he knew of the truth. Of course, Kotori did not kill those girls—truth was that it was him. Things were going according to his plan; she would be the one at blame by her fellow students, not him. They would never suspect him. He played his cards well.

"I don't believe you killed anyone, Kotori-san."

She looked at him with a dumbfounded expression, never expecting him to say those words to her. She pouted at him because once again, he saw right through her. Even though she told him spurious information, he didn't believe a word she said, confusing her to no end. Why was it that he could read her like an open book, but she couldn't even get past the first page? He was an enigma she wanted to understand.

"Is everything alright?"

"What?"

His eyes flickered to her hands. "Your hands are shaking."

"Sorry...I was thinking," said Kotori, grabbing a hold of her hands. "Sorry."

"There's no need to apologize."

Hs gave her a comforting smile, which he used to show all of Soul Society—his façade.

"Congratulations," she laughed lightly. "You saw through me again."

Aizen frowned at her words. "You put up a mask, yet you know I will figure it out. Why do you play games with yourself, Kotori-san?"

He did it again. Aizen knew exactly what words to say for her to question herself, but she didn't have an answer for him...or an answer for her.

"Then how about a normal conversation?" she offered, changing the topic. "Hm...ah! The Winter Festival is the next week."

Aizen had not expect that to come out of her, though he looked collected when he responded. "Yes, it is. What time do you want me to pick you up?"

"You don't have to pick me up," she said, slightly befuddled. "Is that what people do at festivals?"

"Have you never been to a festival?"

"I've seen festivals but never have I actually been to one," confessed Kotori after finishing her fish. "So this will be my first time. What about you, Aizen-san? You look like you've been to many."

"I have," said Aizen, "but this will be the first year I'll be going with a date."

He paused and half expected for Kotori to choke on the rice she was eating, though when he looked at her, she was smiling at him. This was a smile he had never seen before on her; it was a pure genuine smile. There was this innocence in her eyes that replaced her sorrowful look. Why was she smiling? She was shaking like a scared child, but now she looked more composed than him. For a split second, Aizen looked baffled, but he quickly collected himself.

"A first for the both of us," she said. "We better not live this moment down."

Kotori looked like a child—ebullient and carefree. Aizen pondered to himself and asked if this was another one of her games, though when he looked in her eyes, he realized that this was the face behind the mask.

"Not a single moment spared," he smiled. "Then how about dinner?"

"Dinner? That sounds wonderful—though I already know what you'll be ordering."

"Is that so?"

She nodded before picking up a cube of tofu from his container and plopping it inside her mouth. "Miso soup with a tempura platter."

Aizen chuckled at her because she was correct. After planning out where the two would meet, they bid their farewells and left their own ways.

The silence in the hallway became distorted by Kotori's footsteps. She was mentally cursing at herself for showing Aizen that side of her, believing she had locked it away, though a part of her wanted him to see it—her true face. The only other two people who had ever saw it was her mother and Shinji. Kotori ignored her thoughts completely and shrugged to herself, maybe by showing him her true self she would be finally able to see his._**  
**_

She paused right before her door, eying the item that was out-of-place. There was a single sheet of folded paper attached by her door frame and she peeled it off. Upon entering her room, she collapsed on her bed and read the note. She gave a short laugh as she crumpled the paper, throwing it on the floor. In red ink, the note read:

_Murderer_

* * *

Shinji walked aimlessly around the barracks for the last four hours, pausing in between to greet his comrades. Normally, he was the one assertive and composed during an argument, though when he heard Kotori's outburst, he looked surprised. But after some thought, he realized it was partly his fault. She was right—he needed to have some faith in her. It sounded simple, but after so many decades apart, he wondered to himself if his trust in her faltered. He frowned, realizing she had probably reached her limit. For the past few days, Shinji didn't feel her presence anywhere near him.

He let out a long breathe—he should have searched for her and apologized the moment he saw her. Shinji had wanted to search for Kotori, but Tokimi dragged him along to different places so he never found the opportunity. Tokimi was starting to cling to him like a baby—his every movement, he felt he was being watched and prayed upon...even now. He ignored the feeling, feeling a crisp breeze pass by. His golden locks swayed as he continued walking—that was, until he felt someone pull him to the floor with it.

A pair of pig tails blocked his vision. He glared, knowing exactly who the culprit was.

"Ha! That's what you get, dumbass!"

"The hell was that for, Hiyori?!" he hollered, rubbing the back of his now bleeding head.

She looked at him indifferently. "What do you mean? I thought ya would've already guessed it by now, but I guess I understand since you're a dumbass."

"Why the hell are you doing here in my division?!"

"Che, stupid Urahara sent me out to pick up some supplies so I thought I'd stop by to take a break," said Hiyori, shrugging her shoulders. "That bastard though—I don't even know half of these things on his list! Couldn't he have sent someone else?!"

"Maybe that's why he sent you," mocked Shinji. "To get you outta his hair for a few hours—ow! Why the hell did you kick me in the face?!"

Hiyori crossed her arms. "Surprise to see that chick not with you."

"What chick?"

"The really annoying loud one."

"What are you talking about?" asked Shinji nonchalantly. "You're right here."

He felt another kick on his face and found himself flying into the wall. Shinji picked himself up, holding his nose to prevent it from bleeding even more.

"Is that what you think of me?! I'll have you know I'm a kind, sweet lady!" she claimed proudly. "And a dumbass like you is not gonna change that!"

"I know. I know," replied Shinji.

"Good to see you back."

"Huh?" he paused—did he hear that correctly?

Hiyori willed herself not to kick him to the wall again. "What do you mean 'huh'? Didn't ya hear me the first time?! I said 'good to see you back'!"

"I've always been here?"

"You dumbass! You know what I mean!" she hollered. "This is why I have to kick ya in the face—for being so stupid!"

"Thanks for the kick, Hiyori," said Shinji. "That got me put of my funk."

"Che, I came here and saw you moping around. Of course, I had to kick your—"

"Oh, Shinji-kun!"

Hiyori made a disgusted face before dusting herself off. It was that loud, annoying chick who followed Shinji like a lost child.

"Shit, she's here. Gotta go."

It was too late. Tokimi clutched herself to Shinji's arm, smiling at him with those ever so perfect teeth.

"Hiyori-chan! I didn't know you we're here!"

"Drop the -chan and call me lieutenant," replied Hiyori. "Respect your superior."

Tokimi frowned. "Shinji-kun, she's so mean!"

"Annoying!"

Hiyori left the scene, but not before seeing Tokimi give her a dark glare. Something about that girl didn't seem right and Hiyori wondered of Shinji noticed. She shuddered as soon as she was far enough away from the Fifth Division. Yep, Shinji knew how to pick them.

* * *

_December 15th_

Kotori woke up that afternoon mentally cursing to herself, believing she was late to her Kidō class, but it took her a few seconds of staring at her door to realize that classes were canceled for the week. She let out a long breath of relief and lied back down on her bed, covering herself with her blanket. Right as she was about to fall asleep, she heard the sounds of rapid footsteps and chatter. A part of her felt curious and wanted to know what was happening outside in the hallway, so she picked herself up with her blanket and opened the door.

A flash of vibrant, lustrous pink attacked her eyes. Clearly, Kotori had not adjusted her eyesight to witness such extreme colors this time of day as she found herself rubbing her eyes.

"That kimono looks great on you!"

The girl with the blinding kimono smiled. "It's great isn't it? I found this on discount in the market."

"No way! I wish mine was as shiny as yours."

Kotori realized that even though the dress was a brilliant shade of pink, the girl was happy so it would be wrong of her to say anything horrible about it. Her happiness is hers, and it doesn't concern Kotori. She satisfied her need to look in the hallway, turning way back to her room.

"You're not dressed yet, Sachi-san?"

She turned around to face a girl from her Kidō class. "Oh no, I thought the festival started at six?"

"It does, but it also takes time to prepare—makeup and hair has to be perfect you know."

"Thanks for the tip."

"No problem—"

"Hey, what are you doing?" called an all so familiar voice. "Don't bother talking to her about the festival. She's not going."

"Mae-san...you...you look pretty."

The attractive strawberry-blond noble walked into Kotori's view and even she had to admit that Tokimi looked beautiful. Her hair, which was usually wrapped in elegant curls, was straight and silky, reaching far past her shoulders. She wore the light blue kimono Kotori had picked out for her, complementing her light complexion. Today, Mae Tokimi truly looked like a member from the noble family.

"Of course I look pretty," said Tokimi. "I can't afford to look disastrous on a day as important as my birth. What are you wearing? It looks worn out!"

The girl fiddled with her fingers and looked down. "It's a kimono my mother used to wear and I thought it would be appropriate to wear it today."

"You thought wrong. It's—"

A fist landed on the wall to the right of Tokimi's delicate head. Kotori had thrown a punch, not a powerful one, but one intentionally to give her a warning.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Look Tokimi," said Kotori, taking her arm back. "I know we're not on good terms right now, but that doesn't give you the right to act like a bitch. She just complemented you—saying you look pretty. What did she get in return? You looked at her and her clothing with such disdain; it's disgusting. So apologize to her."

Tokimi looked taken aback, but responded nonetheless. "Why should I? It's not my fault she chose to wear such drags."

"It doesn't matter what she wears—you're not wearing it, so why should you care? If she likes it then that's all that matters."

"Fine! I'll leave her alone," said Tokimi sharply, leaning in towards Kotori's ear. "Then do me a favor and don't ever talk to Shinji again."

"Excuse me?" scoffed Kotori, holding back her laughter. "What did you say again?"

"I said to stay away from Shinji. He's my date...and he's mine."

Kotori found herself unable to control her laughter as it spilled out. Tokimi claimed Shinji as hers? He hates clingy girls, but that's private information Kotori kept to herself. She smiled, wanting to witness how their relationship unfolds. Aizen told her to stop playing games, but she couldn't help herself—it was fun. He didn't have to know about this.

"You can have him," Kotori said. "It's not as if he's talking to me anymore."

"Because I made sure he stayed away from you."

"Oh," responded Kotori, understanding that Tokimi would do something like that. "Then you did a pretty good job."

"I don't need your praise," snapped Tokimi. "After we win the cutest couple contest, Aizen-sama is bound to notice me and my beauty."

Kotori couldn't help but frown—of course she wasn't over Aizen. She had intended to make Aizen notice her by dating his captain. It was selfish. It was selfish to use Shinji for her own gain—to manipulate him. But then again, there was a possibility Shinji could see right through her. He was proficient in reading people.

"Do you want your kimono back?" asked Kotori, changing the subject.

"The one I gave you?" she scoffed, waking away. "You can keep that kimono. The material was cheap anyways."

Tokimi left the hallway with a smiling face, meeting up with several of her friends. They laughed and chattered for a full minute before returning to their respective rooms. Kotori gave a sigh, realizing the girl from her Kidō class had disappeared right after she threw a punch to the wall. She returned to her room, picking up the blanket she had dropped and shutting the door behind her. After stretching her arms, she searched for that 'cheaply made' kimono.

* * *

_5:30 pm_

He knocked three times on her door, in case she had not heard the first one. In his mind, he hoped she liked the arrangement of red roses that he bought. He didn't know much about flowers, so he had asked the merchant for the widely purchased bouquet. The door opened and he willed himself to stay composed at the sight of his date. For lack of better words, she was one of the prettiest girls he had ever seen—perhaps even in his top ten.

"You're on time!" cheered Mae Tokimi happily, opening her arms for a hug. "I thought you were going to be late!"

Shinji returned the embrace. "Of course I'm on time. It's a special day—speaking of which, here."

"Roses! How did you know they were my favorite?"

"Intuition," he replied smugly, mentally thanking the merchant.

"You're so thoughtful! I'm one lucky girl to have you as my date, Shinji-kun."

"It's no problem," said Shinji nonchalantly. "Where do you want to go first?"

"It doesn't matter, so long as I'm with you."

He grinned at her response. "Then let's walk around and watch the festivities. That fine with ya?"

"Of course!" beamed Tokimi. "Let me just put the flowers inside first."

"I'll be waiting out here then."

Tokimi gave him a quick smile before shutting the door and entering her room. She quickly tossed the bouquet of roses on the floor—petals bruised and distorted. Tokimi looked at the flowers with disdain, containing her dissatisfaction that the roses were red and not white. She sighed and decided it was for the best, putting on a smile and leaving her room, she left for the Winter Festival with her date.

The two walked around, with her arm linked around Shinji's, the various booths, looking for something fun to waste their time on. After an hour had passed, Tokimi grew tired of searching until they walked past a goldfish scooping booth.

"Let's try this!"

"Alright, but I'm no good at this," confessed Shinji. "Excuse me, how much?"

"It'll be—oh! Captain Hirako, a pleasure to have you here at my booth! For you and your lovely lady, it'll be free."

Shinji grinned. "Thanks!"

After five failed attempts from the both of them, ten tries in total, they thanked the man running the booth and left.

"Did you see, Shinji-kun? I almost had the last one, but then it swam away!" she sighed, slightly disappointed. "I was so close!"

"Don't worry, I'll win ya something soon."

"You don't have to," said Tokimi, smiling. "I'm fine with just you."

She was not at all fine; she was boiling inside from embarrassment—plus, her feet were hurting. What type of captain was he for him to not catch a tiny goldfish? If he doesn't win anything soon, how could they win the contest tomorrow? They needed to look like the ideal couple.

Shinji looked at Tokimi intently, noticing the change on her face. She had on a small scowl—maybe she didn't want to walk anymore.

"How about we go and sit down?" suggested Shinji. "There's a fountain over there."

Her eyes opened widely at the word sit. "That would be fantastic!"

They walked closer to the fountain and Tokimi quickly noticed a familiar face.

"Oh look!" said Tokimi, pointing towards the middle of the fountain. "Isn't that Aizen-sama?"

Shinji's eyes flickered over. "What do you know—it's my lieutenant...but what's he doing by himself? He said he was going with someone."

"Shinji-kun, let's go to him. He looks a—"

At that moment, Aizen picked himself off the fountain with a warm smile on his face, approaching a woman wearing a maroon-colored kimono. Shinji and Tokimi both assumed that woman he was talking to was his date—a stunning date at that judging from the looks surrounding people gave. Even though her back faced them, they couldn't help but notice her panache. Her raven hair was pinned into an elegant bun, with a few stands falling on her neck. The kimono she wore looked expensive—perhaps, her family had a lot of money.

Shinji couldn't help but grin for his lieutenant. He didn't know Aizen had the moves.

He turned towards Tokimi. "Looks like his date's here. Did you still want to go up to him?"

"That...that kimono," she breathed, color draining down her face. "I know that kimono."

"Hm?" he stole a quick glance at it. "You're not wearing the same one. What's wrong with her kimono?"

"...I gave that kimono to Kotori."

It took him a moment to register that in. "Kotori?!"

As if on cue, she was now facing them, smiling at their expressions—Tokimi's expression. Kotori had not noticed Shinji standing beside Tokimi until she followed the arm she was grabbing on. She gave a small nod to Shinji, and to Tokimi, a deeply satisfied smirk before turning around.

Kotori ignored them completely afterwards, deciding it would be best to put them in the back of her mind. Today, she wanted to experience the festivities—something that was new and exciting for her. And who better to enjoy this moment with than a newbie like herself.

"Did you see something?"

"No," responded Kotori. "It's nothing importance."

Aizen smiled, knowing exactly why she turned around, but he wanted to hear her response and to see if she truly had changed. The response she had given him didn't surprise him. She enjoyed playing games with others and putting on masks to deceive people, which was much similar to him except for the part that she didn't know he was doing the very thing to her.

"Let's go to dinner then?"

"Lead the way, Tofu-san."

He paused, facing her with a curious expression. "Tofu-san?"

"I like giving out nicknames," she confessed, shrugging. "It's a habit of mine. If you don't like it then you can tell me and I'll give you a new one."

Aizen laughed, not at the nickname she had given him, but because of her tenacity. She offered to give him a _new_ nickname, instead of ceasing to stop.

"No," said Aizen. "Tofu-san is just fine. Just don't share it with the world."

Truthfully, he did not care if the world knew so long as Gin didn't. The boy would taunt him with that name for decades if he ever heard word of it.

He politely opened the door for Kotori, which in return, she thanked with a smile and luckily for his sake, didn't call him 'Tofu-san'. The waitress assisted them to their table, offering them a pot of tea—technically, Aizen a pot of tea. She gave him a bright beaming smile even though he had only said four words: that will be fine.

Kotori had the unfortunate luck of opening the menu, to have her jaw drop in disbelief when she looked at the prices. Her first thought: way too expensive. If she really wanted gourmet Japanese food then she could make that herself. Kotori examined the menu for appetizers, in hopes of that being cheaper but alas, another weight dropped to her jaw. The appetizers were just as expensive! Maybe she should just drink her tea and save her stomach for the food outside.

Aizen sat across from her, watching her nervously read the menu in terror. It was amusing to him.

"Have you decided on what you wanted to eat, Kotori-san?"

She dropped the menu in a composed manner, but they both knew what was going on inside her mind.

"I...well...I've never seen so many choices."

Aizen chuckled at her words. "Are you not in the mood for dinner?"

"Oh no, don't get me wrong—I'm starving," explained Kotori, defending her stomach. "But don't you think this is a bit on the expensive side?"

"You're worried about the price?" he asked. When she nodded her head, he responded. "There's no need to worry. Just focus on filling your empty stomach with food."

"Are you two ready to order?" asked the waitress, placing a pot of tea on their table.

"Do you know what you want, Kotori-san?"

She opened the menu to the first page and pointed at an image. "I'll have this with a side of shrimp and vegetable tempura please."

"Alright," said the waitress, writing down the order. "And you sir?"

"I'll have the chicken yaki-soba with a side of—"

"Miso soup."

Aizen smiled amusingly when Kotori finished his order for him, knowing exactly what he wanted. The waitress stood there with a befuddled expression and felt that she didn't belong there in that moment.

"...Is that right, sir?"

"She's right."

Kotori smiled in triumph, knowing something about him, though it was just one small detail. It was better than nothing, she decided.

"I'll go and send your order up right now."

The waitress left the scene, assisting another customer that walked through the entrance.

Aizen spoke first. "I thought you said there too many choices?"

"Yes," replied Kotori nonchalantly, taking a sip of her tea. "But never did I said I didn't know what I wanted to eat."

He chuckled. "How are your classes?"

"They're fine," said Kotori. "I'm no longer struggling with Kidō class—if that's what you wanted to hear. Even the teacher noticed and he's praising me of my hard work, which is entirely thanks to you."

"That's wonder to hear," he responded. "And you once said to me that I was a 'proficient' teacher."

"And you called me a student who wasn't as willing to learn."

"I see the tides have turned," he smiled.

"Yes," she agreed, returning his smile. "And they're in my favor."

They sat there in silence, examining one another. A game was about to ensue until a flamboyant man appeared before the table.

"Lieutenant Aizen!"

Kotori looked up, finding herself staring at a man wearing the usual Shinigami, though it wasn't that which caught her attention. If she were to describe him with one word it would be luminous. Underneath his pink, flowery kimono, she noticed the white-colored haori that captains usually wore. He wore a straw hat and bore warm, kind eyes.

"Captain Kyōraku," greeted Aizen. "What brings you here?"

He pointed to the woman behind him before responding. "Lisa-chan and I just finished eating. If you didn't order yet, I recommend their tempura—it's delicious and so was the sake I had with it...oh, who's this?"

Kotori waved at captain standing before their table.

"There's no need to be shy," he smiled kindly, offering her his hand. "My name's Kyōrako Shunsui, captain of the Eighth Division."

"Nice to meet you," replied Kotori, shaking his hand before giving him the opportunity to kiss it. "Sachi Kotori."

Kyōrako looked slightly disappointed when she shook his hand. She knew exactly what he was going to do but quickly changed the gesture.

"You know...this is the first time I'm witnessing Aizen-kun with a lady and not a book."

Kotori let out a laugh, finding his claim true. Aizen had looked at her with a raised eyebrow, wondering why that made her laugh.

"How long are you going to talk to her?" his lieutenant said. "She's his date not yours."

"I know that, Lisa-chan," he replied, sighing that he had to leave. "I must get going. It was a pleasure running into you lieutenant Aizen and Kotori-chan."

They bid him a farewell, wishing for him and his lieutenant to enjoy the rest of his evening. When he left, Kotori couldn't help but make an amused face.

"So Aizen-san, if you would care to answer, how does it feel not to have a book by your side?"

He raised an eyebrow. "The same can be said for you, Kotori-san."

"Be that as it may, I feel absolutely fine without a book in my hand," said Kotori. "Are all captains...hm...how do I put it? Like him?"

"Like him?"

She nodded at him. "Bright."

"No," he chuckled. "They're all different and they vary in abilities."

"That's good to know. Least I can now relax knowing they all don't wear kimonos."

"You're an amusing person," he chuckled, taking a sip of tea. "Just when I have you figured out, you throw another surprise."

"Not as amusing as you," responded Kotori. "I can't seem to figure you out.

"Here are your orders!" the waitress said, placing the respective orders in front of them. "If there's anything else you want, please feel free to tell me!"

Kotori smiled happily at her dish, until she saw a pair of chop sticks taking a shrimp tempura from her plate. Aizen smiled kindly at her.

"Don't look so surprised, Kotori-san. This is payment for stealing my tofu."

After they finished their dinner, they went outside to enjoy the festivities. The sun had set, allowing lanterns to light the darkened sky by glowing in their places above the crowd. There was an influx of people, all with smiles on their face, entering from the south entrance holding cotton candy and sharing it with their dates. Kotori smiled in excitement. She found it disbelieving that she had never been to one before in her life; she regretted not going with her mother when she offered. Though her mother was not here, Kotori knew she would be happy for her—appreciate her for at least coming today.

"Wow!" Kotori said excitedly, after a couple of minutes of walking around. "Festivals are beautiful!"

"Enjoying yourself?"

"Of course I am!" she smiled. "Everything about this place is amazing—the booths, the lanterns, the smell...even spirit of this place!"

Aizen watched her from his side with an amused expression as she went into every booth they encountered. She was smiling brightly at everything—her experiment with the goldfish scooping game to folding paper crafts...even though she wasn't proficient at either of them. When it was Aizen's turn with the goldfish booth, he elegantly scooped one with a single try without it breaking. She congratulated him for his success, motivating her to try again. Aizen watched Kotori give another effort, though he was actually looking at her face. She had on the smile he saw only once before—the one he didn't understand at first. It truly differed from the ones she normally wore. He didn't want to admit it, but he enjoyed this side of her better than the one who liked to play games. Perhaps it was because he couldn't deceive her as well.

She told him that she would be back, disappearing into the crowd, and a minute later, she appeared behind him with two sticks of cotton candy. He took the blue one she offered him, watching Kotori enjoy her pink one with delight. After finishing his cotton candy, he followed her into a mask booth.

"Look at this mask!"

Aizen watched as she put on the mask with ease. She looked at him through the round holes.

"I look like Foxy-kun now."

"Foxy-kun?"

She nodded before responding. "Mhm, Gin-san. The cute kid you brought in while I was injured."

Gin was also a victim to her nickname habit. Aizen smiled—now he had a name he could use Gin against if he were to ever find out about 'Tofu-san'.

A group of girls from the academy walked pasted the booth, not before one of them noticed Aizen. The girls crowded around him, all wanting to talk to him. However, instead of dedicating his time towards them, he apologized to the girls telling them he was with a date. They frowned, knowing who he was talking about.

"Where is Kotori-san? Did she leave you?"

"I'm sorry?" he politely said. "She didn't leave me."

"We don't see her with you right now," one responded. "Come with us! We're much more fun! At least we didn't kill anybody."

"Mhm, haven't you heard? She killed three girls!"

Kotori pulled the mask off, setting it back down in its respective spot, and walked away from the booth. She had grown tired of this idiotic routine and decided it would be best to stay away from them. The girls gasped in surprise, clearly they didn't realize she was standing right behind him. Aizen ignored the girls completely, exiting the booth and trying to find where Kotori ran off to.

She walked as fast as she could—in the end, she ended up running. Taking a few corners routes, she ended up in an unfamiliar spot not far away from the festivities. She found a lantern lit tree, deciding to walk towards it. She was admiring the tree and its many luminous lanterns hanging on it, until she heard the sound of footsteps behind her.

"Kotori-san."

She let out a long sigh; she didn't want him near her, though he didn't receive the message as he walked closer to her. Even from behind, Aizen knew she was frowning. His eyes flickered over to her hands—they were shaking. He referred to the last time he saw her like this and understood what she was doing—she was thinking. He saw her part her lips, but nothing escaped. She tried once more, successful this time.

"Do you know why I play games, Aizen-san?"

"No," he replied. "I don't."

Actually, he had a guess but after a moment of thinking, he decided it was best for him to act as if he didn't know.

"Basically, it revolves around my dislike of friendships...I rather not have any attachments because in the end we all get hurt. If I open myself up, I become vulnerable...so that's why I play games. There's a sense of comfort when I play games," she explained, "because I'm not sharing myself to anyone. There's no risk and I could just dispose of them when I'm done using them for whatever I want. That way, I can't get hurt. Maybe it's because I'm afraid of being left again."

Aizen shocked her the next moment by grabbing a hold of her hands, holding them with his strong hands.

"Your hands are shaking," he said with a concern tone. "Are you afraid of me?"

"I...I'm sorry," said Kotori, retracting her hands. "I must be a pretty bad date, huh? I'm a horrible friend, a murderer, and now this—a wreck...what else could you ask for?"

"No," he said quietly. "I couldn't have asked for anyone better."

"Lies."

Kotori felt a finger lift her chin, allowing her to look straight into his soft brown eyes. She met his gaze; it was strong—unlike that of hers, which were distressed and even fickle at times. Her eyes faltered, unable to continue the contact, and she frowned. How was it that he could see her vulnerability and flaws...even when she put on her mask?

"Don't frown," he whispered. "I will protect your smile...your true smile."

On his own accord, he leaned forward and met his lips gently with hers as he clasped his hands into her shaken ones. Her hands were soft to his touch, yet it was her warmth that indulged him, made him feel something he had not before. He tried to comprehend what he was feeling—was it a sense of comfort? His mind could not understand it: this amenity. He wanted to know what it was...and then suddenly, she was kissing him back. Her lips moved gracefully with his as she felt his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her forward.

Whatever it was, he wanted more.

Her hands stopped shaking. She released her hands of his clutch and gently placed them on either side of his face. Aizen felt this before—he remembered this touch. It was when she thanked him the night he saved her.

Kotori broke the kiss, her hands still on his face. She looked at him, her gaze once again meeting his, only this time it was composed and assertive.

"Thank you," she breathed, kissing the top of his head gently.

She no longer had to be afraid.

Her mask was breaking.

* * *

**Comments**

Thank you all, those who read/review/followed/favorited, for your continued support! This chapter goes out to you guys! Hoped you enjoyed! Please review :)


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